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15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

Good news Diva!

Stay strong

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hey Goofy,

Well, I totally hear what you are saying and thank you for bringing it up! I hear your warning and take it to heart! Especially since when I can sleep I love to sleep!

I am not working anymore. I haven't been around since I was taking care of some stuff (applications to university and that pretty much kept me busy.

I have been sleeping a lot! I sleep 12-16 hours a day...My husband says not to feel guilty, that my body needs it. I am glad I got off work. I finally have time to rest.

I will be careful though to slowly reduce my sleeping hours as I feel capable to so I don't fall in a pattern of sleeping my life away. Today I actually got up before noon!

Now that I have time for myself, I finally feel, for the first time in my life, like I am free, like I can take care of me. It feels good.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

oops I typed wildcat and I meant to type Diva - the scatterbrainedness continues - ah pardon me!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

Wildcat, I'm going to take a different tone and give you my experience. Not that it will be yours, of course. I took the Family and Medical Leave Act (leave without pay) for issues related to my dad's death and also, because the depression got so bad. Pre-working this job; all I did was sleep, sleep and eat, then sleep. The house work - lol, it's still has left over problems from two years ago - the carpet just needs replacing, etc. Anyway, a word of caution because I fell back into the sleep mode de operandi when I was on FMLA. I hope you get your rest and I hope you are conscious of the habit-forming nature of sleep for some of us (not necessarily you).

I do agree your health comes first and I will admit the break was helpful once I realized I had to get out of the darn bed and do somethings constructive even though I wasn't working - put the fun back in dysfunctional as they say!

I hope you get it settled soon; I can see the frustration for you that your boss not returning your calls and your needing to do this for you! and not tomorrow but today. I look forward to seeing how things go for you and how your health increases! I'm also glad you have a supportive family...this will help and they will help.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Oh wildcat!

Thanks again for a wonderful and insightful reply! You have a way of getting things in perspective for me and making me smile all at once. I thank you for answering me!

Well, I have not spoken to my boos yet as she is not calling me back despite all the messages I have left her. How can I quit my job if I can't reach my boss? I just want to get this over with and it keeps getting dragged along...

Well, I guess it will give me time to go get my medical leave paper from my doctor! My appointment is tomorrow, I hope it goes well!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 456

well diva, what is your definition of selfish?

If it means thinking of ones self. If it means putting the wants and needs of the self before all others. self-centered. self-interested. Welll yes! AND IT IS ABOUT TIME! Your body is screaming for a time to heal. Your husband and mother say that some rest is needed.

And yet you want to ignore ... what? Ignore the symptomes. Ignore the first treatments that acctually help - rest. Ignore the fact that life is not 100% predictable and that you cannot controle everything in your environment and everything about your body... most of us with anxiety issues Bloque here.

Diva,

think of it. you really need the rest. The boss is the boss and the work issues are not yours. In this recession period your boss will have 200 people willing to take on a short-term contract ... It is just the boss might like you and might not want to see you ill ... and is worried about you! Eh ya! and company policy means you are not allowed to be friendly but human nature is still boiling underneath. So do not look at it as a confrontation and as a spectacle. Think of it more as a gruff teady-bear who has no idea how to express princess-soft confort .

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

I have decided to ask my boss to replace me with my students. I might keep 6 ours a week then again I might not. If my boss gets angry and feels I left her in the lurch, well that is her right and she is probably right. But it does not change the fact that I am exhausted and that this is what I need to do for myself right now. Friday I see my doctor, I will ask her for a paper for my boss. I am probably going to burn some important bridges here but it is still what I need to do.I feel bad a guilty for my boos and really scared of the confrontation to come (I hate confrontation!) but I know this is what I need to do for me for now. My husband and mother seem to agree and support me in this.

I just want time and energy to do the stuff that will help me feel like me again... Am I selfish and lazy?

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

Hi Diva,

Sorry to see that you are feeling tired and trapped. You obviously needed the rest and sleep so please don't feel guilty about that. Occasionally a day off is well spent when it is about giving your body some time to recover and rejuvenate.

It is understandable that you are feeling overwhelmed. Is it possible for you to break up your day into smaller goals so that you can get through without feeling this way?

If you can take a nap in the middle of the day and if that is how your body and mind work best then please incorporate that into your day. Remember that in many parts of the world, an afternoon siesta is the norm and regularly practiced!

Hope you have a good week - take it one hour at a time.

Faryal, Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

hi guys,

I slept all day today. I guess forgoing my naps for two days in a row was a bad idea. I ended up sleeping all day. I think I slept for 14 hours straight. Lost my whole last day off. Was kinda depressed about that.

I think what depresses me most is going back to work tomorrow. I am sooooooooooooooooooo tired. I don't hate my job. I have a good job. And my students are very nice. But I am not up to it. I barely make it through a day. This is hard for me to admit but true. I end up napping on my lunch break. I come home and sleep. I hate feeling this lame. But the truth is I barely get through a day of work, let alone get through a week of it.

And tomorrow I have work. And I feel trapped. Completely trapped. I just wanna hide under my bed and weep. I feel so lame and I hate it. I feel angry at myself for being so lame. But I do not want to go to work. I am tired, exhausted and not up to it. And my work suffers for it too. Not fair for my students, not fair for me. I can't stop being sick on top of it. I am not sure if it is the same thing dragging along or one thing after another but sick all the time nevertheless.

What do I do? I am so trapped!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hey Wildcat!

Thanks for the support and for, I don't know, being honest and saying what you think and helping me figure things out! I so need that kind of support right now!

I guess I do need rest right now. I am so exhausted.

I did a little experiment. In the last two days I have given myself the right to do only what felt right and sleep anytime I felt like it. Needless to say I slept over 12 hours each day. I spent time with my wonderful mom. I went out with my husband on a day where I played hookie from work! How decadent! The thing is, today was a better day then I have had in a long time! I am still exhausted and I sleep too much, but while I was awake I did not feel so horrible when I could just gie myself a break. I went walking and shopping, and I even planned a brunch with my nieces tomorrow and some art project!

I guess I am just hard on myself and feel like I should be able to recuperate while working etc...

But you are right, without my health there is no me. I don't feel like the best version of myself lately. Having time to find that person and get stronger would be quite nice!

Hiya Ashley,

Thank you for the reply and the support! I love this site. You are right, I do need to take care of myself. My therapist keeps reminding me that not taking care of myself is what got me here in the first place. I must be stubborn. It seems I need things repeated at me a lot before I get it! And yes, I like the way you put it: I wil still be working, working on me!

Time to focus and get healthy does sound great right about now. Especially since i have such exciting plans for september! I really would love to be healthy and up to that!

And yeah, I think I will take the time off and work on me and on getting strong! I want to feel like me again. And yeah, guilt is just useless in most cases isn't it?

Thanks for being here. It feels nice to have so much support!

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