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Liberation or destruction?

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 271

Hi Pete,

I recently did some "house cleaning". I, like you thought it would be a good idea to be rid of the physical clutter in my life that may be contributing to my depression and hoped that somehow this would "help" alleviate some of the "pain". I went from room to room through every drawer, cupboard, closet, box etc. and looked at everything and instead of thinking is this causing me pain or does this relate to my depression, I changed my thoughts to is this something I use, will use in the near future or will never use again. After several days of this, and several garbage bags to the dump and donations to the second hand store it was done. I felt a little better knowing I accomplished something, but I also felt sad at having gotten rid of so much.

Before destroying or discarding anything in your life ask yourself if you will use it now, in the near future or never again, and then decide what you will do with it. If you are unsure and don't know, keep it. You can always do the "spring cleaning" next year.

Take care.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 406

Pete,

Wildcat has brought up some important points. Would getting rid of or destroying the things that you loved or that even brought on negative self-imagery, prevent you from being hurt again? Would giving new meaning to these things you associate with yourself, your life, perhaps be the change you are looking for? You have raised several important questions and I encourage you to explore them more and discuss them with your counselor as well.

Members, can you relate to Pete's dilemma? What are your thoughts?

Karen, Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 456

I have gone through this once ... eh twice ... well I hoard so in a crisis I have some explosions!

But is almost seems like these objects are the physical manifestations of the emotional pain we feel. and by putting a distance between us and them, a permantant separation, we will never be hurt again.

I threw out so many of my books of literature and so many of my writtings.

Today, I could have looked back and appreciated the creative energy that came from that chaos. But at the time I needed an action that made me feel like I was taking controle. I needed something physical to go with all that mental gymnastics to prove to me that I was working, and hard at being a viable part of society.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

I have a strong desire to dispose of all the petty, peripheral things that have contributed to making me who I am, and to how I see myself. I mean books, music, movies, hobbies, smash my guitar, burn my writings! My counselling has shown me that I need to remake myself, undo decades of negative self-conditioning and self-image. My personal culture is such a major part of how I view myself and my life, that surely it's best to throw it all out, leave myself naked and characterless and grey, start again from a blank slate.

Now, is this positive, a new beginning, a clearing of house, a liberation from all the mental baggage, or is it a kind of suicide-lite, an attempt to hurt myself, kill everything that makes me an individual, become a lump of stone that just lives and functions??

I can't sort these urges out in my mind. All these things I have loved, that have given rhythm to my existence, have they just been poison?

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Liberation or destruction?