Get the Support You Need

Learn from thousands of users who have made their way through our courses. Need help getting started? Watch this short video.

today's top discussions:

logo

11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

Quit Smoking Community

logo

Feels like hell week all over!!

Timbo637

2024-10-30 9:38 AM

Quit Smoking Community

logo

Roller Coaster Withdrawal

Timbo637

2024-10-14 12:28 PM

Quit Smoking Community

logo

Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

Timbo637

2024-09-27 3:17 PM

Quit Smoking Community

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Loved

Browse through 411.768 posts in 47.066 threads.

161,294 Members

Please welcome our newest members: SG1501, Clam123, Blueeyez, DSKEvan22, AN1568

Lifestyle Changes


15 years ago 0 456 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I am sorry that my initial post came across as a school lesson rather that a presentation of another view.  I thought you wanted to discuss the topic of lifestyle changes  and understand why I had to make some regardless of I like them or not. 

"Why do professionals not understand that each person is unique and just because they say it is so, doesn't make it so.
 No matter how much or how little exercise I participated in over the past 2 years, it has not improved my mood, weight, self esteem or sleep.  Physical activity does not upset me, it is being around "hard bodies" at the gym, it is being told that it will help, when it doesn't, and the disappointment because yit's not doing anything for you other than making you more exhausted and unable to sleep. So more stress added, because "professionals" say so."
 
I would have liked to have other members discuss other notions of nutrition based on inheritance and background (much like the eating for your blood type).  Or drastic ideas like protein diets like atkins or vegetarian lifestyles ... But dumb a** that i am I was the only one to swim these murky waters and get bitten.  I am only one person on an anonamous forum with an idea.  I am not the one with the gun.  I cannot force, push, nor coerce anyone to do as I want. 
 
I cannot always guess where a person needs to go with a thought.  I need a clue; a question.  With a question like - why are my views not right? - we can go somewhere comforting and supportive. Eating healthy and exercising has made me miserable over the past two years because... can lead to support and comfort.
 
I do read ALL the posts.  And I take my time before answering them.  I have left posts alone that are too emotionally charged for me.  And I have e-mailed the moderators before answering others!  So your judgement is false, and quite hurtful. Especially since i am the only member how was courageous enought to face your blind anger.
15 years ago 0 271 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
One last post.
 
It seems that this is not helping, and my lifestyle changes over the past year and whatever haven't helped at all.  I may as well just say f*** it and not bother seeking help from anywhere, anymore.  Since no-one here reads the whole string and some just preach, because they can. 
 
I will not do something just for the sake of doing it, what's the point? Should I go shoot someone just for the sake of shooting someone?  NO, so what is the point of exercising, eating healthy (according to someone else's views of eating healthy) just for the sake of doing it.  In my view it hasn't done anything aside from make me more miserable and what is the point in being more miserable?  There isn't one. 
 
Why are my thoughts not right?  Again someone else forcing their views of right and wrong on me.  Viewing something negatively is how we protect ourselves from hurt.  Should we just continue to let everyone hurt us, physically, emotionally or otherwise.  NO.  So I will never be happy, I will never be normal and I will never be someone else's idea of right, perfect or otherwise.  This is who I am and I have accepted it.  I cannot make anyone else see things how I do, and I cannot seem to view things as others do, so I will stop trying and just deal on my own again, it worked for over 30 years so maybe, it will work again.  If bad sh** would stop happening, then maybe I could catch my breath and get myself back to my normal.
 
I do not blame others or my illnesses for my depression, I know it is my problem and I will have to figure my own way out of it.  I do blame others for not trying to be encouraging or attempting to understand that I am a unique person and I don't fit in a box.  It was and is difficult ito ask for help because I always hear, Johnny and Sally did this, so it should work for you and if it doesn't work within a reasonable amount of time, continue to do it because Johnny and Sally are and look at them.
 
Thanks for listening and have great lives.
15 years ago 0 271 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Thank you Wildcat for your input. 

The proof is me.  I do not need a study to prove that what the studies say doesn't work for everyone and I don't need people discounting me, as you have just done.  I do not mean to attack, but that is how I view your previous comments and it has offended me that where we are to help one another, someone, always has to find a way to put someone else down.  Just like group therapy, group nutrition classes, group exercise classes.  I don't like "group", because there is always someone who has to make themselves appear to be better than everyone else.

Breanne, thank you for understanding that I am a unique individual and that my thoughts matter.  It is appreciated to have someone who will listen and not pass judgment because my views and experiences differ from others.

I will hang in there as the alternative isn't going to accomplish anything.

15 years ago 0 1693 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
It matters to us furgittit, that's why we're here
Sounds like you are going through a tough time right now. Taking care of your family as well as your dad is a lot of work. Your stress is understood. I can also understand how physical activity is not helping, as unfortunately it does not make all of your other problems disappear. If it is playing Mario Party with your family that helps you feel better, then do that! Everyone is different, and what works for one person will not necessarily work for the other.
Hang in there,
 
Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator
15 years ago 0 456 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
exercise and food are one part of a whole.
if you do not want to follow a healthy diet and exercise, no is forcing you. 
 
If you have the proof otherwise all the best.
15 years ago 0 271 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thank you for your replies and quotes from the studies that only show what they want to show. 
 
It seems no-one actually takes an individual's account seriously if it doesn't fall in line with 85% of whatever.  "You cannot be different, you must fall in line, continue to do things because we say so" and it doesn't matter that it doesn't make you happy as long as you do what we say.  Continue, continue, continue, it doesn't matter if you are more exhausted, if the food tastes like **** and comes back up, this has been what we have "proven" by "our" studies to be the correct way, right way, our way of how the world should exist and if you don't tow the line, then fxxx you, because you don't matter. This is what I hear on a daily basis, I did not expect to see it here.
 
I have done more physical activity over the past week (has not helped with the sleep, self esteem or anything else for that matter), due to having my own family and taking care of my dad (who is single and has no-one else to help, because they all ran away and left me to deal with everything) at his home after he had his prostate removed because of cancer.  I did not go to work because I had too much personal stuff to do.  I put in 1200 km's on my van going back and forth and running errands for everyone.  The one highlight of my days was spending an hour playing mario party with my husband and daughter.
 
Now I am at work, and I don't know if I will be able to stay for the whole week or not due to various appointments for my husband (who may have prostate cancer as well) and my dad.  I am seriously ready to lose it here and it doesn't seem to matter to anyone, except for me.
 
Well thanks for listening and have a great day!!!!!
 
 
15 years ago 0 1693 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Great post wildcat- thank you so much for sharing your views
Members, what do you think?
 
Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator
15 years ago 0 456 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Part of the equation is missing here!
 
The part of the studies that say that exercise improves mood through the stimulation of the brain's chemistry.  It starts off small and builds like a psychiatric medication and after 24 hours there is none left in the body... Exercise is part of a maintenance program.  Everyday we take the cocktail of pills, park one space further from the door of the office, skip on nasty treat, and think of the good we do ourself.  And try to think of one of the hundred negative things we might not do tomorrow.
 
Exercise is meant to stimulate endorphines in the brain that cannot be stimulated chemically.  Exercise is a series of movements and I have no idea how that is meant to improve self-esteem.  The results of an exercise program and proper weight management can help low self-esteem based on obesity ... but that is another story.   Lifestyle changes are a tool to help you take control of stress in you life.  A body the is in better physical condition is more resilient and can handle the physical damages the stress causes; pain, mis-functions, anxiety, etc.  Exercise is an activity that can channel energy and exertions to release stresses that build up. 
 
Part of depresssion is bad habits that slowly install themselves into our lives.  Not over a few days, nor weeks.  It sometimes takes a while to unlearn all these bad habits.  We do not come into the world miserable and in pain.  We teach ourselves what success is and how far off the mark we think we are.   All the professionals are doing is reminding us what our bodies need. It is up to us to focus on what is the true target.  Good health.  Better physical condition to make us more resiliant to stress. Exercise to stimulate the body and brain.  Better nutrional choices so we promote healing and stability in our system. 
15 years ago 0 11226 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Furgittit,

It has been proven that exercise can alleviate 70% of mild to moderate depression.  Living an active lifestyle has numerous benefits; but you are right if you find yourself more upset after going to the gym maybe you should not go.  Physicial activity does not have to be boring, structured, gym use.  It can be dancing around the house, taking the stairs, throwing a ball around, anything to get you moving.  The point is, physical activity should not be a choir.  You should enjoy it, it should make you feel good.  Yes, it does require motivation but it shouldn't be like banging your head against the wall.  Your right, too many people put too much emphasis on being "fit" or having a hard body but the desired result should be to be happy and healthy. 
 
Try to work in physical activity during your lifestyle. But do what works for you.  Don't put too much pressure on yourself. A little is better then none. What are some active things you enjoy or you feel you could work into your lifestyle?  Anything, like going to get a glass of water three times a day, swinging your legs when you watch TV. Again, whatever works for you. 
 
Don't expect drastic changes and don't assume it won't work because it hasn't before, it might become a self fulfilling prophecy.  Just be active for the sake of beign active.  You may not see results but it couldn't hurt right?
 
 
 
Ashley, Health Educator
15 years ago 0 80 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I agree,  exercise does not mean that you will suddenly feel better, it perhaps helps, but not in all cases.  I myself have exercised, been phsically active and I still feel just as miserable.  Even going back to my school days, never ending physical work, either at school (phys-ed class) or walking 1/2 km every day to and from bus stop, walking around, biking etc  I still felt miserable. 
 
I am just beginning to learn about depression and its effects on me, the causes of depression.  Its terrifying thinking it all began with a stupid bug that gave me encephalitis.


Reading this thread: