Thanks so much for your support and sympathy. It means so much that you all from this forum support me at this time as well as others.
I got up this a.m. with the Meniere's Disease kicking in also. It's an inner ear that causes dizziness. I can't drive today. I called the doctor as I have not had this bad of a dizzy spell in 2 years or so. I've had others with a broken finger and a sprain here and there. She told me I can now get the dizzy med OTC. My sister-in-law went to get it for me and it helped so that I could walk and stand up straight. I am like a drunk. I hope it does not linger until tomorrow but I am prepared for it as well.
I think all of you have some great advice for the bronchitis type thingy I have. I didn't eat so well today as I slept most of the day and the dizziness is nauseating (ewwww). That is all I want to do when I am this dizzy. The doc said that she thought the exhaustion definitely precipated this along with the grief. They say you can't make up for lost sleep but have the last two nights and I am dizzy and sleepy right now. Of course, part of that is the side effects of the meds.
Ah well, I am trying to take care of myself. I did lose about 10 lbs over the last two weeks! I wouldn't recommend this as a diet plan. I do think tomorrow will be more emotionally trying. My grandmother wants Precious Memories played - what a tear jerker. My neice is signing a song - "Who Am I?" by Casting Crows and my Uncle wants Dear Lord Take My Hand. Music makes me anxious and these being tear jerkers I am afraid I'll be too emotional (wailing).
I thought about dad dying today and realized that he and I had the last two years to get close, for me to accept who he was and his behaviors though I didn't like them. I also came to realize that he and I had some great conversations this past two weeks and looking through pics to put in the slide show, how we must have meant alot to him as there were so many pics to choose from with us in them.
You know all the frustrations with my brother don't seem so important to me anymore. I guess I have to accept him for who he is as well as his behaviors (arrogant and obnoxious and a know-it-all). I have decided to forgive him for telling me because I am depressed I don't think straight and don't know as much. (argh). For telling the hospice nurse dad didn't take a bath but once a week - how would he know he only saw him monthly, I was there 3-4 times per week and talked to him everyday since momma died. There are few others I am working on forgiving him for. Acceptance, Patience with his behaviors and tolerance - might not necessarily be in that order all the time with who he is.
Thanks again for the expression of support and obviously anonymous cyber love.