mom-of-3
are you negatif " what-ifs" truely realist? 80% probablility that what you are running is what you will have to face within 24 hours? I have the "what-ifs" tied to my anxity disorders so I have to recognise the signs my body gives me ...
Often my heart speeds up and I become restless and figity. I cannot sit still.
My stories are small things at first and I want to talk, talk more than usual to check them out.
I am uncomfortable and do not enjoy being with ME! I want to escape, and be with the fun people. (oh trouble brewing.)
I want to go shopping... and search for that elusif something ... and get myself into more financial trouble
By now my feet are unconfortable when I am still, I have that big pain in the middle of my chest, I breath in shallow breaths, and the acid is up in the back of my mouth with the sulphur taste!
Sometimes i grab the huge old time film that is playing in the sacred room in my head and I cut the horror flick onto tiny pieces. Sometimes i burn it.
Sometime, I see the the what-ifs as a trail and i am pulling a cart, the wheels are moving in the dry-earth tracks, and the hurt and tears are where there is MUD - and I get stuck in the ruts... of course I need help to move off the road or to get out.
Then there are the what-ifs that are the the filing cabinet explosion and I have to pick everything up and file it away. I have to avoid looking at every picture of my past and go over every memory.