I am confused and worried and really not understanding much anymore. I have a real psychiatrist now at the psy-hospital's out patient clininc. And he looked at the notes from my first depressive episode and the notes from the evaualtion modual and asked me a whole bunch of hard questions yesterday. So I have a personality disorder that is the root of the depressions and i need to learn to builb a thick skin. i am hyper-sensitive to rejection, even allergic to it. And still unsure about me being bipolar. It might be the Effexor that is playing with my moods.
so what does he do! add more meds! and Meds I can't find internet info on -dom-topiramate as a mood stabliser- at least it is going to do something for my migraine! And if I was hiding epelepsy well this med will do something for it! And it will help me to lose a bit of weight wooowho!
I know. i looked at his phrasing over and over in my head and he was not accusing but his manner and posture were unsettling. Even some of his questions... like if some one wanted to hert you, devestate you psychologically what would they have to say?" -you are a complete stranger, i have no relationship with you, and what kind of question is that?- I need some bounderies still! Whoa minute! He spent 45 minutes rifling through my files and his files -making a mess- and never looking up only asking questions -family history, previous episode details- and at the end he sits back in his leather chair and asks me what do i want... what am I there for ... of course I answered that 4 times before while he was reading the notes ... but this was insulting. And I got the the ... you are, you are, I am not clear about..., Here is the prescription this is good because you are Obese, you have Migraine, and you do not tolerate Seroquel. Come back again. WHEN? I had to ask, WHEN? in two or three months? -the usual delay-
So here i am poisoning myself with topiramate. unclear what is a personality disorder, it was the first time someone mentioned it to me! Not sure if I am bipolar or medication mood shifting! and exhausted from that brutal 90 minute appointment. My husband is so sweet that he took the kids out on a bike tour so I can adjust to the meds on my own in peace and quiet. he forgot the bugger upstairs.
