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11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

Quit Smoking Community

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Feels like hell week all over!!

Timbo637

2024-10-30 9:38 AM

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

Timbo637

2024-10-14 12:28 PM

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

Timbo637

2024-09-27 3:17 PM

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Thought Record


16 years ago 0 1288 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Lady, Lets try and focus on the positive aspects of our lives, even if it may feel difficult at the time. Everyone has bad days, we just need to learn how to make them fewer and further in between. Take the time to do something for yourself, have your nails done, take a bath, anything that could lift your spirits. Sylvie, Bilingual Health Educator
16 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I have explained some of my illness to my children. I explained that sometimes i am overwhemled with the great saddness and pain. I need a bit of time to heal, like a scraped knee. And I will be better. Lots of love and kisses are the best medications for the deep hurt. Also a bit of quiet and sleep, helps a lot. my 5 yr old and my 10 yr old know that when I need to cry and release the hurt, they give me hugs and let me pull myself back together.
16 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
It's a new day. Going through the motions of life waiting for the new funk wave to pass. It seems so meaningless.
16 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
You think there is a reason? I think it is a waste. I'm so frustrated and I really haven't accomplished a thing today. I don't think there is a reason. I think I'm just nuts! I've got too much going on and I'm not good enough to keep up with it all. I'm an idiot who doesn't know how to control her emotions. I'm weak. I appear to be strong on the outside but inside I am crying all the time. I have these stupid breakdowns where I just cry for hours on end. Does anyone even hear me? No. You know why? Because there isn't anyone there! No one cares! I have a six year old who says mommy why are you crying. What am I suppose to say to him? When my 14 yr old says Mom what's wrong, what am I to say? I don't know? That I'm just out of control again? Don't worry about it, maybe tomorrow will be better? Maybe it will be worse? Does it even matter?
16 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
eh why? I have no idea. If I knew I would be making a lit of money. Mr and Mrs whyeth, and Phiffser, and a few others found the how but not the why... :blush: I have been frustrated with myself for a while now. I have finally gotten to a good feeling level and could not keep it. Why can I not just control the up and down? Why can't I just be happy with the way I am and just ignore the rest? Why can't I just turn it all off ??? I once cried nights as I froze away all my feelings. I cut myself off from everyone, and just survived. I was a scare lone teen ... in soo much pain. I stoped caring and feeling. It hurt too much to worry. It hurt too much to care. It hurt too much to lose. It hurt too much feel... I let go of it all and died inside. We all know your pain and frustration ... there is a reason for it all...
16 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
No I don't want to learn anything new! I want to wake up and have the happy life. The life without the tears, rejections, and emotional back pack as you call it. I just want it all to go away. I want to mean something to someone. I'm so fricken angry today!!! Why? Who knows this time. I have so much to do and no time to do it in. I'm sick of always being on the run. I have to clean house and do laundry. It is already after 2:00. I also have homework to do, groceries to buy and dinner to make. All I want to do is go to bed! Yes, I screwed up my meds this weekend when I did the sleepover with the teens at church. Why do I need stupid meds anyway! If they take so long to build up in your system then missing one or two doses shouldn't matter! I just want to screammmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so sick of feeling this way! I'm getting mad at myself. Why aren't I strong enough to fix this? Why can't I get over all this stupid stuff? WHY WHY Why???
16 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
lady, why blame? why is this in your emotional back-pack? (I followed a stress management class and liked the notion of an emotional back-pack that should be only 10% of your body weight!) Now that you opened your hand to see what you are holding, are you going to put it back into the sac? and use it again ? are you going to keep it in your hand and keep on hitting yourself with it? are you going to put it on the table and see what other options you have? It was your child's room mother that set off this negative thought process. You looked at the trigger that you you gripped automatically. Next, do you want to put this trigger on the table and learn a new habit?
16 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Interesting questions Wildcat. I think one of the greatest successes of a support like this is the challenges we get from those that are in the same boat. I opened my hand to see what I am holding onto. The anger and bitterness... Depression is anger turned inward correct? Perhaps the anger of a stay at home mommy planning parties of great fun for little Johnny whose world obviously doesn't know the meaning of struggle. As a single parent (even when I was married) I have always struggled with being able to make all the school events that happen during the day. Actually I've never had the opportunity to attend a school party. I haven't had the option. While I don't really struggle financially anymore, it is still tough being the sole provider for my family and I don't get to play the "mommy" role too often. It is typically a matter of what do we need to do next and that is how we live our lives. At the same time,I feel so fortunately to have been blessed with precious children. I truly am grateful for my blessings. I guess I often think my life would have been a lot different had I not been such a rotten teenager and had I had loving parents that supported me instead of putting me down all the time. Had I chosen good people that really loved me instead of people who were as sick as I was. No wonder we formed this dysfunctional family. But I like to think we put the "fun" in dysfunctional. OK... there is a thought process for us isn't it? You made me look inside. Am I jealous? Sounds like it doesn't it? I have no one to blame but myself.
16 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
ohhh skewers ... i remember a few splinters from chicken brochettes ... as kids, my (male) cousins and I used skewers as GI JOE javilins when we lost the darts!!! sorry. I couldn't resist. Some adults try so hard to make kids into mini adults and forget that all that makes youth fun. It is the simplicity, the spontanaity, and the chaos! Children make the notion that battle/party plans rarely survive the initial charge. Lady. What is it about the party that is pushing you to the limit of endurance? There is something ... there is a note of old hurt that is being touched like a nerve exposed from a broken tooth. Hot, cold, sweet, bitter... everything touches it off. Lady. Is there some thing you need to talk about? Open you hands and LOOK at what you have gripped...
16 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Another email was sent saying we need: Valentine plates, napkins, and silverware (at least 25 of each) 20 juice boxes (pink or red) and 20 kid sized water bottles strawberries- (left whole for dipping) and chocolate sauce (please put on wooden skewers) apples (sliced for dipping) and fruit dip (please put on wooden skewers) pink and white marshmallows, chocolate sauce and Valentine sprinkles (please put on wooden skewers) pretzel rods and Valentine sprinkles small heart cookies We will be doing a "kid's" Valentine fondue theme- If anyone has a fondue pot or chocolate fountain please let me know! So I suppose an email saying "your party with chocolate and stawberries and the above items is absolute rideculous for 6 year olds" would be a little out of line? OOPS! And what is a wooden skewer anyway! Why do I take this as a personal attack? Because I only offered to send in stupid little hearts with messages on them. I thought that was fun too. The only thing that bothers me about Valentines is that I'm alone (again) but that isn't anything new. I do at least have a boyfriend this year even if he is four hours away. Perhaps there is a connection, I really don't know.

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