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Worried About Your Teen?


16 years ago 0 86 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Yes, in my opinion, I think that they have been affected by what's going on at home. This is part of why I think I need to fix the situation. It's not been violent at home, but it has been consistently contentious and it's gotten worse the more that I have learned to deal with my wife's behavior better. She's unhappy being with me and I'm unhappy being with her. I think that has helped them become unhappy as well. Also, Ms. will occasionally verbally unleash on one of them (probably once a week). How has this affected them? In about every way you have said. Both of their grades have gone down this year - especially this 2nd semester. Especially my oldest son has dropped most of his connections - both girls and boys. Both of them have gotten in trouble recently which is very uncharacteristic of them. They go to private school and my oldest son almost got expelled. Brenna, I am afraid to take them to counseling without their mother's agreement. I wonder if that would be legal. Personally, I think it would be a good idea. I'll ask them what they think.
16 years ago 0 1153 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
NullPointer, Have your children shown any signs that they have been effected by what has happened at home? Have they ever spoken to you about anything? Take some time to reflect on their behaviours and changes over the past years. Have they dropped in academic performance, taken less interest in participating in social outings, extra curricular activities or family events. Talk to your children one on one or with both of them together and ask them personally (not with their mother present) if counseling is something that they would like to try. The Ms. is not their only parent and therefore does not have 100% power in making all of the decisions. Include your children's input and your own. Brenna, Bilingual Health Educator
16 years ago 0 86 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Yeah, I have two teens. I think they've been affected by the problems between their parents. I suggested counseling but Ms. will not have it.
16 years ago 0 8760 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thank you for sharing lovelybones. Fantastic strategy! Danielle, Bilingual Health Educator
16 years ago 0 40 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
One thing I've learned is to trust your intuition. A long time ago my gut told me that something wasn't right with my daughter, but I couldn't put my finger on it, and she wasn't ready to talk. After some extensive therapy to get to the source of her depression & anxiety, we now talk openly and frequently and we work through our issues together (she's almost 18 now and wise beyond her years, so we can have pretty grown-up conversations). As for my younger daughter (12), she's a pretty well-adjusted kind of kid. Rolls with the punches most of the time. But I have learned from experience and I try to foster open communication with her on a day-to-day basis, even about simple things, so we can stay connected. That way if she ever has an issue in the future, coming to talk to me won't feel like anything out of the ordinary for her. And I tell them often that I love them - unconditionally.
16 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hi Brenna, I try. My Tiger, son of 9 yrs, is a very sensitive child. we have to be careful not to be frustrated with him and not raise our voices. Otherwise he melts and cries... My little Tiamat, daughter of 4 yrs, is exactly that: Tiamat the dragon-goddess of chaos and creation. She can be calm and loving or angry and violent. I tell then that sometimes I have the great sadness inside that makes me cry. I need to let it go and then I am better. I tell them that I go to blahblahblah once a week with other big people to learn to let go of the pain/sadness and it makes me stronger. I think of the rest they are a bit young.
16 years ago 0 1153 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Wildcat, Doesn't sound like you have too much to worry about yet :). Keep an eye on your kids as they grow and develop into teenagers and young adults though. Keep them informed about depression too and try to encourage an open environment at home so the kids can talk if they need too. Brenna, Bilingual Support Specialist
16 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hi danielle not yet... ;) my sister is 27 now and is someoneelse's teen now. my mother is in a home and is properly cared for. my kids are 9 and 4 (till the 23rd) and give me enought to worry about... but my husband and I laugh at all the possibilities... kids jumping out the back windows to smoke in the park with friends... coming home with several piercing where sun don't shine and green/purple hair and... should I start to worry??? ;p
16 years ago 0 8760 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Members, In some families, Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) affects someone in every generation, suggesting a biological (genetic) component to the disorder. However, MDD also happens to people with no family history of depression. So, in some cases, a vulnerability to MDD may be inherited and in other cases not. Although genes are probably not the whole story, parents often worry about the development of MDD in their children. It has been said that children can begin showing signs of depression as early as their teens but how can a parent tell whether the behaviors exhibited are hallmarks or adolescence or a cause for concern? Changes such as a drop in academic performance; a change in activity, such as losing interest in a favorite sport; a big change in friendships or socializing; and difficulty with the family that goes beyond a bad day now and then can signal teen depression. Although most of these changes occur to many teens, the impact and severity of these changes is what is key to note. For example: Your teen spends a lot of time alone in their room. The average teen would compensate for this isolation by increasing their time with peers and social interactions outside the home. The depressed teen may also have limited peer interactions. Another example: Your teen quits the hockey team... The average teen may continue to play hockey with friends or pursue a new interest. The depressed teen would continue to show no interest and/or show no interests in a new hobby. Although just examples, if you suspect depression in your teen, trying to foster a conversation with your teen about depression (in general as oppose to specific to them)can help get the ball rolling. Your child' school or your health care provider can be a great resource to getting your teen support whether in the form or group or private counseling. If you have any questions, concerns or experiences as it relates to children and depression please feel free to share it with the group. Chances are you are not alone in your worries or your experience may help another parent. Danielle, Bilingual Health Educator

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