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Are you afraid of experiencing a setback?

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Are you afraid of experiencing a setback?

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 63

Thanks, Brenna. Good advice. I tend to be hard on myself and feel like I'm failing if I'm not living up to my own schedule. The obvious answer is change my expectation. :) I've given this thought over the past couple of days and realize that at the moment I'm taking the time to get to know folks here at the board and, in the process, am learning all kinds of new things. Seems every day I have an "aha!" moment after reading someone else's experience. I guess that's as important as working through the formal sessions. It's very helpful to have people like you to offer some gentle guidance away from the very behaviours that make me miserable. Thank you. :)

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1153

Lulu, Good for you for setting milestones for yourself to complete the sessions. Little goals like this will really help you to get better and improve yourself. Please though, don't put a time limit on yourself. If you can finish the session in 2 days that is great, if they take 2 weeks that is great too, just the fact that you are working through them will really benefit you. We're happy you are finding the support you need here. Keep posting and get to know the members better. Brenna, Bilingual Support Specialist

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 63

I've just started, got through Session 1, then immediately crashed and burned. Obviously this program is working for me! I haven't done anything for a couple of days now, not even kept up my activity schedule. As soon as I started working this, I ended up with insomnia ... all kinds of dreams about moving, which for me are nightmares. I realized it's about my hoarding. It's almost like my OCD knows it's met its match. Although I'm feeling very, very off, I must say I'm also feeling incredibly encouraged by this setback. If I were able to sail through any of it without having some kind of reaction, I'd know I wasn't doing it right. My habits are deeply ingrained and rooting around in that part of my mind stirs up some unpleasant stuff. So yep, I'm having a setback the very first week. I was all pissed off about it until I stopped to really think about what was going on. Now I'm just going to work around it. I decided that I won't move on to Session 2 until I have 7 days worth of activity schedules completed. That means it will take as long as it takes, and that is really rubbing my fur the wrong way. Being something of a perfectionist, I want to do one session per week, do it right, and tolerate nothing less. All part of the OCD, I know, but that doesn't mean the feelings are any less intense for the knowing. I was lucky enough to enjoy a chat this morning with someone from here. That helped. Instead of feeling like I was muddling through on my own, the simple contact made this place feel more real to me. I am certain that as I get to know folks better I will find these forums a life saver.

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

my fear is the depression will get so bad that i don't go to work. I'm trying so hard to get out of bed and make it to work. So far so good. At work i don't think of anything so it's good to be there. but when i get home and especially on weekends, i feel terrible. I think a lot, and that gets me down. I don't do much and i can't get myself to. I am going to try the exercises from this weeks session (it's 2 for me) and so far i read it and i hope it helps me get through this week. Last week was so bad, i cried so much at home. i just want to stop crying so much, it's tiring. and trying to act happy is tiring too. especially when going out with friends i feel like it's work.

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 131

In my situation, I have to stop "mindreading" some of the people and think that they are not talking to me because actually, maybe they didn't see me or they are busy, not because they didn't want to. And catastrophizing is a big one, only seeing black and white...it's hard work, but I know I don't want to be like this anymore. I do a lot of writing and positive self-talk.

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 8760

Members, Thank you for sharing your experiences, fears and worries. Please keep it coming! What have some of you begun to do to counteract these worries about relapse? Danielle, Bilingual Support Specialist

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 86

Yes, I am afraid. There's a few people including the Ms. that seems to be on patrol to make sure that if I'm in a good mood they can do something to change it. sometimes I feel like I am oversensitive, and I think that some stuff gets me upset way to easily, but with the new medicine I have been a lot better, but the "happiness patrol" just works over time like it's entertaining to see me get upset and they just keep saying things and then when I don't get upset, I get accused of being a zombie, but me personally, I like being more in control of my life and I just don't want to be upset and I let them say what they want and I feel very good every time it happens and I can stay calm and realize that they can think what they want but I'm glad that at least I am present in mind and happy with myself if only the only thing I'm happy about is that I can take it without losing control. So sometimes I think that some people don't want me to earn a living and sometimes I think that my wife really gets mad just because I am happy, but that doesn't make sense because why would someone hold a grudge against me just because I am happy or just because I was able to finish a job and get paid for it? And then I am afraid to get upset because I know that if I start to cry it could be a few hours before I can stop and that is such a waste of time especially when I am supposed to be earning a living and time is money and I can't make money if I can't get myself together, y'know?

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 131

Yes, I'm worried about setbacks, I can certainly talk like I'm going to do this and deal with these feelings, but when physical symptoms start playing with me, I drop. It's like things are going well, I start thinking about how well things are going and then uh oh, when's the ball going to drop. I get that too. It's amazing how much control this disease can have over us...keep smiling.

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

hi gang, setbacks? I do not think of hitting another LOW as a true setback... I believe the path of life is a one-way street, there is no return. Each time that I fall into the pit it is something new, a time I have to use new and old tools to dig my way out. It is because I hit each new low with a different set of tools and new experiences that I see each as something new. This way I do not fall lower with the notion of I am so stupid; here I am again! A lot of my fears come from my sessions with my therapist (psychologist), I have a lot to learn while I continue to live my life. She is helping me find where my parents coded me all wrong. It was not their fault, they did the best they could... still those lessons in survival are often what push my over the edge. So I have to face the codes and change them. Changing thoughts is never easy. There is so much unknown, so much chance. So much potential for new pain. The old pain is so familiar that I know I can survive through it ... but some thing new I do not know.

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 86

Yeah, me too. "Lousy" is a lot better than "Really Bad," if you know what I mean. In fact, sometimes I am afraid to feel good just because I worry that around the corner or in the shadows is some situation that will "set me off" into a tailspin.

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Are you afraid of experiencing a setback?