Hi Guys,
Well after my panic attack about seeing the new N.H.S. physc,
i now am feeling that I was right in being so concerned.
I had my 20 min appointment with him, I had taken a diazepam to help me get through the session.
Basically, he had 2 very relevant questions for me,
1. was I about to kill myself anytime this week and
2. was I taking illegal drugs along with my prescribed meds from the G.P.
Well the answer to both was no so he couldnt help me.
No facilities withing the system. Shortage of money, staff etc.
Its not his fault i know, He can only work within the guide lines he has.
Compared to the drug users he sees and poor people that have really lost their mind, i guess that to him i appear o.k. I just dont want to get to that state before I receive help.
So here i am alone and trying to win this battle alone again.
Its just blow after blow. My Only life line is this site and the hope that the pain management team will eventually come up with an appointment for me. Current waiting time 6 months.
It all just seems Hopeless. I feel that I am banging my head against a brick wall.
I spent the weekend with my girlfriend who asked to see what I was working on with this site so I printed her off a couple of information sheets.
She lives far from me but is full of encouragement and has said that we must both make the effort to meet up at least for lunch every 2 weeks. I am encouraged by this as she has the ability to make me laugh about myself and my situation. So all is not bad.
I know that, I just feel worn out by the whole thing. I want to run away. my girlfriend thinks thats a good idea and I should take off for a week to some sun shine and no one making demands on me.
I am tempted but would still come back to the same situation.
Sorry, ramble ramble ramble, its all I'm good for.
x
