Gabs, boy I know how you feel with the panic attacks. The other site is wonderful, very informative and helpful, just as this one is.
I remember when my husband and I went away for 3 days, and we were leaving our boys (3) for the first time. They were just wee little guys. I cried and cried, couldn't pack a thing, I had to get things ready for the boys, lunch stuff, dinner stuff. We had grandparents coming to watch them, so I needed to clean the house absolutely everywhere of course!!
I cried on the way to the airport, I cried on the airplane, I was so afraid of leaving my kids (which I know is normal). My husband was very good, very supportive and added humour to my panic. At this time, I didn't know how to deal with panic so I didn't know why I was lightheaded, sweating, shaking and all of the rest. When we arrived at the hotel, we got settled, I called the boys, amazingly enough, they were fine, what a shock!!
My husband and I were talking about the whole incident and he finally confessed that when the plane was taking off and we were turning towards the south, we would have pushed me off the ledge if he could because I was so upset. Of course, he's joking and that's his humour. But I guess the whole point of me rambling on is that I worried so much about the trip, leaving the boys and flying is that I didn't thoroughly enjoy myself on our trip and looking back, I wish I had.
I know these feelings are real to you and they were certainly real to me, but learn how to deal with panic attacks, it's so worth it. You'll see how everything will start to settle down for you.
Good luck :)
