hi gang!
I did it. i managed to ride the tide of a major emotional tsunami at the office this morning. I did not hide behind a smile nor an intersted look. I spoke my heart in front of the group! and let myself feel the tension.
For me, my only emotional release is tears... and I let them go this morning. WOW :gasp: I am a type of open book, the wishy washy romance novel not the profound philosophy text-book so this release surprised many... and worried two. My boss has lots of people experience and a basic understanding of me and my bipolar so she saw the release for what it was...
so now there is a lot of spirit building to come in the department in the next year. we will see how much of me changes and how much evolves...
I spoke in front of the group of my distrust, my hurt at a situation, and my perception. I let my tears come and yet continued to function.
I even let a few people touch me without convincing myself of the worst possible case... I was comforted and strenghtened by the touches. I want to cry just thinking of it ... this opening up is like open-heart surgery without anastisia and a great big mirror.
I could have had a perfect excuse to run half way through the meeting. but i stayed. i contributed. i am someone.
