Thank you all who have responded. I have not been back to my therapist; I made a few inquiries with new ones but didn't follow up. I just don't have the heart to start this whole process over with someone new, and can't face going back to my old one. I am still off the drugs and everyone tells me I seem much better. In some ways, I am, but I know the depression is still there. I am good at ignoring it, but I think it may be coming out in my body. I also think it might be coming off the drugs - I did it cold turkey. I believe that they have found that a lot of people experience relief from arthritis and/or fibromyalgia with psych drugs. Anyway, last night I had a very disturbing dream; like I was remembering something from my past. I want to just forget it and stuff it back down there with everything else, but so far it just won't stuff. I don't know what I'm asking, if anything. I don't know what to do - I just know that I feel I can't continue therapy and don't want to go back on the drugs - I won't do that. I guess I just wanted to thank everyone here for their kindness.
