Hi again Sharon,
Thanks for the Christmas and New Year wishes. I hope that we all have a more positive 2006 too. Although I have been feeling very down over the Christmas period, i think that 2006 is the year I am determined to change my attitude to life. Christmas is a more emotional time anyway - expectations of everything are raised, including family. Memories of the past come flooding back and fears for the future too. Time to let go of the past and throw out all of those "what if's?"
As you said on my other post - some people can make things seem worse. I think my sister does that becuase I don't spend much time with her. Maybe if I spent more time with her then we both wouldn't feel that we were in competition for each other's sympathy/empathy. I know that we are like this because we both felt our needs were not met and we always had to think of others all our childhood. However unlike me, who has had some chance to reflect on my childhood she has not had this. I need to be a bit more understanding of other people while also making sure my current needs are met. I thought if I had a counsellor again or perhaps went to my doctors and this time took some medication then maybe I would have the energy to deal with the people in my life who I love in a more constructive way.
I've got to stop feeling bitter about things that are going on in my life now or I'll push everyone away.
moth18