Hi Kat,
I understand when you say you told him to leave but you would really hate him to leave. I do that too.
I don't quite know why.
Like you I feel he deserves better.
How long have you been using this site?
It sounds like your husbadn knows that you need some hlep adn is trying hsrd to help you get it because he loves you. Does he understand what depression is and why you might be drinking a bit too much?
No I don't think it is selfish. You and he made a commitment. He wouldn't stay if he didn't want to. When we make a commitment to each other we have to take the warts and all. I sometiems feel that my partner lies to me about his love for me.Then sometimes I feel very alone as I feel he is not right for me.
I feel you might keep pushing him to see how much he can take. Are you testing his love?
When you think he looks at you like your family does, maybe that is your interpretation of his look? He maybe is feeling helpless and worried about you?
How long have you been together?
Hang in there and see what comes when you get some help. Keep talking here too - as I'm sure there is lots of help here .
Moth
