Dear Free Fall, Welcome. Depression is a very isolating disease for many reasons so know you are not alone in your feelings of fear,confusion and isolation. Once your meds are stabilized you should feel better but it can sometimes take awhile. What you need most right now I think is patience. The major step is getting help and you have taken that one. Try to not project too far out into the future but rather concentrate on what you might do today to feel better. Seeing friends,exercising focusing on something other than you depression are all helpful. Hopefully one day very soon you will suddenly realize that your mood has stabilized and you are better. Keep writing too. It helps. Trisha