hi i just wanted to let you know i read your message. i can't give you advice but i can give you empathy. i let my depression go for years, when i should have searched for answers. i've done a few things that have been succesful at times, but should probably have gotten better counselling and perhaps medication. aside from that maybe a heavy dose of excercise might help you. maybe thats worth a try. take care ill be looking for your postings. i think just communicating makes one feel somewhat better

Elle, If you ever need some one to vent to, I have also battled depression since the age of 10, and that was also the year of my first suicide attempt, so I guess we have a lot in common. Sometimes just venting can be a big help, and I'll be there for you if you ever need it. ~Anna ps. another thing we have in common--our names are both palindromes.

elle: do you have any siblings? just wondering b/c my brother has become very understanding and supportive in his own weird way. although we never got along through life.

You are so young with so much ahead of you. I urge you to call the local or school community health center and lookf or some help. Of course your mom worried about you, we moms can't help that but you can't let that stop you from getting the assistance you need. You are functioning very well at some level. I was the same way when I was your age. I always got good grades and seemed very competent. But inside I was a total mess. Don't lose touch with your friends, even it's just to say "hi, really busy right now but I haven't forgotten you!" You see depression tends to make us withdraw from other people, that is part of the insidious nature of the disease. Please find some help. You don't have to suffer alone!

Find a hospital with an inpatient program. They usually have out patient program professionals who can help you find someone. Good luck! I remember how hard making that first step was but believe me, it makes all the difference in the world.

Hi elle, Fellow members will be responding to your post soon, but I just wanted to welcome you to the site. I know you said you have sought medical attention before, but if you are not already seeing someone now, please be sure to check with your family doctor or therapist about how you have been feeling. Please feel free to roam the site at your own pace. If you look to the left of the screen under "TOOLS" you will find our Depression Test. This test is not a diagnostic tool and is not a replacement or substitute for a physician's advice, nor is the site itself. The purpose of this test is to prepare you with information that you can present to your physician. When you're finished the test, you can either print your Final Report or email it directly to your doctor. Casey _______________________________________ The Depression Center Support Team

Hi, I'm new here and for the past almost about six years I've been secretly looking for help to my depression. I've been dealing with depression for as long as I know, and it came very clear to me about 5-6 yrs ago. Let's just say I have a lot of history with suicidal thoughts that I've been battling eversince I was 10, that was the year when I attempted my first suicide, but somehow I stopped myself. Eversince then life was like a rollercoaser. I'm 19 now, and all these years I've been waiting for the sun to rise back in my days. I'm not really sure how to tell my story. Maybe to make things short, about six years ago, my dad tricked me to move to the state. Things havent been well eversince then, not just between my dad and me, but my perception about people changed. It wasn't 100% because of what my dad did to me, but my eyes seemed to be open on how dark this world is. I got scared of people sometime because they really can hurt someone that's closest to them, or not care about hurting someone that they don't even really know. From time to time I cannot seem to be able to escape from the past that kept haunting me: the voices of my friends from where I came from, the dark incidents that ever happened, the trust, the abandonement feeling, and things like that. I'm still not able to move on from the past, and life in the present keep getting harder. These past six years, I've been looking for help without telling my parents. I've talked to a lot of my friends and my cousin about my depression, I've called the 1800-suicide line once before, and finally when I got into college, I got a professional counseling that last for a quarter of the yr, and took a supplement called SAME. I told my mom about my depression once, but I felt that I made her upset, and I felt like I wasn't being understood. Now, these past winter quarter had been another difficult time for me. My great uncle passed away on Christmas day, during the quarter my grandma was dying, one friend at school passed away while he was playing basketball, and another friend passed away because of malaria. On top of that, I kept going on and on with my school and work. I thought if I can get myself going, this depression would flee from me. I'm hoping that I can get through it again. From one stress to