Hi,
I've been exactly where you are, searching the internet for help, trying to see what other people have to say about their experiences with depression. I know what it's like to hear all day about Optimism, to tell myself that I *should* or *shouldn't* be feeling a certain way, to feel hopeless about therapies not working.
But I think after years of struggling with depression I've finally "figured it out", and I want to share my experience with you -- the key to getting out of depression is to just DO WHATEVER IT IS THAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD. A nurse posted this suggestion on this site a while back and it has changed my life. I put my own spin on it and combined it with CBT -- cognitive behavioral therapy -- to tell myself throughout the day, "I just gotta DO whatever gives me that GOOD feeling." You know that good feeling -- you feel it in your toes, in your fingers. It's an organic, physical thing.
Now, whenever I start to feel down I tell myself, "I just gotta do whatever makes me feel good." If I'm in the shower and I start to feel down, I repeat my mantra and shift my attention to how good the water feels trickling on my head. Talking to friends, I'll say whatever makes me feel good -- whether that's telling them I like the way they look or bringing up something that's on my mind - and it'll make me feel better. I exercise now, not because I should be exercising, but because it's a really good way of getting that good feeling. It's just that good feeling -- you know it, you've felt it, and you gotta go for it.
This attitude is a supplement to all the other treatment methods I use -- therapy and medication. And I know that everybody's depression is unique. But so far, this mantra and approach to life have been the most important parts of my recovery. With much love and respect, I wish you the best of luck. -- Dan