Yes, please do that Julie, come back and tell us how you are doing. I really hope you will find comfort here. When you are alone a lot, it may feel as if you are the only person in this world going through it and that there must be something wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you. What you are feeling is in fact very, very normal. I think you are very strong for admitting that you are feeling this way. In this time and age, it seems like we can not feel bad anymore at all, while so many people do. Try to accept all of your feelings, if you start to understand their language, they will become a blessing.

I wanted to thank you guys for replying.. I've felt alone for so long.. Just knowing someone's out there helps a lot.. I promise I'll keep coming back.. I'm sorry this post is so short, when I have more time (Tomorrow, I hope..) I'll come back and hopefully get to talk to you all a little more.. But I just wanted to say thank you really quick before bed.. So thank you, again..

Hello Julie and welcome. Be reassurred that you are not alone here on this site. As is stressed on this site we are not here to replace your doctor but hopefully you will feel comfortable enough in this type of environment to as you say " let your walls down". You may find that sharing your emotions and hearing from others that have had the same type of expereinces can be very helpful. Everyone here is so supportive of one another. As you can already see, Poes has already provided some very encouraging thoughts. There is an abundance of information on this site. Please feel free to roam the site at your own pace. If you look to the left of the screen under "TOOLS" you will find our Depression Test. This test is not a diagnostic tool and is not a replacement or substitute for a physician's advice. The purpose of these tests is to prepare you with information that you can present to your physician. When you're finished the test, you can either print your Final Report or email it directly to your doctor. If you have any question or concerns with our site or please contact Support Department at support@depressioncenter.net. We are open to any questions or concerns you may have. Looking forward to hearing from you soon! Please post often, share your thoughts and feelings and let us know how you are doing. Casey __________________________________ The Depression Center Support Team

Julie, First off - nothing you wrote sounded awkward. You expressed yourself eloquently. [b]PLEASE ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS - YOU ARE NOT ALONE JULIE - YOU ARE NOT ALONE[/b] There are many people who feel exactly like you do, if not worse (if you can imagine such a thing). Please do not pray that you "won't wake up" Pray to have these feelings taken away or for guidance to help yourself feel better. Don't ever stop seeking help. We're always here to listen and we care. Let us know how you're coming along. Take care of[i] yourself.[/i]

And you do not have to!! How is that for good news today!! Does it not make you feel great?? Julie, the tears do not come out of nowhere. Do you know why people have the capability to cry.....it is an outlet for emotions. If we did not have that fantastic tool available, we would be blowing up. You are crying, I think, because your soul is sad. And we can ignore the wishes of our soul, but it will not be denied within you. Why do you have a wall around you? Okay, so I do not really need an answer to that. There is something, somehow and in someway that made you build that wall and believe me, you did that. Probably to protect something. Could that be your soul? We tend to build thick, sturdy walls around us if we have learned that feelings or emotions are not okay, if we were ridiculed or made feel stupid for having feelings at all. If feelings in our environment are not done according to the standards of valuable others, we hide them. Soon, we forget what what hide where in our body. But the soul does not forget. Feelings are energy, they need to be released. So, allow the crying. Yes just accept that your tears come up and that you have no control over them. Good for you, you are out of control of your tears. They will let themselves be heard, whether you want to or not!! And than....you will need to start looking at that wall, this time from the inside out. What a shame, cause with that sturdy wall, you have hidden yourself for everyone to see. Now that is a real shame, since you are soooo beautiful. Maybe some people did not want to see you, they told you that what you were without the wall was not good enough. That was their own fear. Their own fear of being afraid of what they were feeling. It had nothing to do with you. NOTHING. In fact, they might have been a little bit jealous with you. Such a gorgeous person and feeling free to express it, that needs to be put down. Having you behind a wall suited them better, made them feel more comfortable. Well, not any more. Maybe on a nice, sunny day you can start to look at yourself without the wall. Step inside the wall and start to get to know Julie as we see you, feelings included. And it may not be pretty at first, all those feelings that have been lingering inside of you for all this time. But once you h

-You'll have to forgive me if this sounds akward, but first posts always feel a little akward for me.. My name's Julie. I'm 19 going on 20 and just looking for some advice.. I've struggled with depression for about as long as I can remember, and although when I was younger it wasn't such a big deal, lately I've really had to struggle to keep my head above the water.. These moods come and go as they please. There's no trigger, no reasoning behind them.. I'll be eating dinner, watching TV, drawing, or in the middle of a store, and the tears start coming. This keeps happening over and over every week.. There are times I feel so helpless against myself, I'm practically praying I'll go to sleep and just not wake up.. I've taken antidepressants, but in the end all I feel is numb.. I've sought help, but every time things feel so uncomfortable I can't let my walls down.. I'm just not sure what to do anymore.. I've gone through so many counslers and psychologists looking for someone I would be okay with.. I feel like I've exhausted my resources and myself.. There's nothing I want more then to just disappear from life sometimes.. Please, someone.. Just let me know I'm not alone.. I can't keep going under.. I don't want to go through this anymore..