hey everyone, my name is Ryan. I have been struggling with panic disorder, and agoraphobia since 2013. Also, I suffer from some PTSD and Social anxiety. How the heck does one get such a beautiful array of mixed signals?? Well, I took a trauma class this past Saturday(total trigger and actually did better than expected), and had a realization. I had seen almost every type of trauma on the list. My biggest trigger is Driving, and crowded places, of which I am slowly working on both. However, I finally learned how I got to this place in life.
I grew up in an alcoholic, drug using, abusive household. Gang violence, and race wars were a norm. I have had bullets wiz by me, been stabbed, choked, jumped, and even beaten by my own family members. My mother put her relationships with me , in front of us(her children). Bomb threats were not an uncommon thing at our schools(at least 1 /year). The irony of the situation, is that it drives me to be a better person. My wife and I, are currently looking forward to foster parenting, and giving a safe haven to children in need. Nobody ever awarded me the opportunity to get out of such a mess. I prayed, and literally left one day.
I guess the point is here, that I am not giving up. Every day seems to be getting better. The more I get out, the more I socialize with others, the more I challenge myself; the better it gets. Going into week 2, I have already seen a drastic reduction in the stress symptoms that had flared up recently. I can’t wait to here how all of you are progressing, and to share my complete and total victory over this temporary phase in my life.
God bless you all,
Ryan
