Hi everyone! I've read through some of the introductions and have to say it is nice to know I am not alone. Here's my story...
I'm a 32 year old female, married, love running and Jesus and being healthy! I've been fairly outgoing most of my life - at least that is how others perceive me. In reality, deep down, I'm a ball of nerves! But I actually don't mind that much. It has kept me humble. Most of my anxiety has controlled my stomach. I've seen a GI dr who told me I just had IBS and was fine. So I've moved on from that and accepted it. I hate public speaking. So I avoid speeches. I don't love being a leader. So I've avoided that. I've sort of floated through life avoiding scenarios that cause me anxiety. But honestly, I've been okay with that.
This past week was something completely new for me. On Monday, after dealing with some dizzy/nausea for a couple of days I thought I felt well enough to make it to the gym. I got to class and couldn't make myself work out. I felt like I was going to be sick. My friend was with me - so I told her to work out and I would just meet her afterwards to drop her back off at work. When I dropped my friend off, she asked me several times if I was okay to drive. I thought that was a little strange, but just to be safe, I called my husband and told him to stay on the phone with me while I drive home. I was about to cross a bridge, the same bridge I take every single work day, and I panicked. I felt like something took over me telling me.. "what if you have to pull over and can't??", so I told my husband I couldn't drive and he needed to pick me up. My heart was racing. I was tense. Dizzy. My legs were feeling weak. My brain was foggy. It was CRAZY. I've never felt this before! I waited in a parking lot with my window open (31 degree weather - the cold air felt better), for my husband. When I got in my husband's car, I was shaking. My legs felt like jelly. I told him I needed to see a dr. We visited my dr who told me she thought I had vertigo caused by labrynthitis. I mentioned to her I felt like I was going a little crazy. She said vertigo can cause that and said she thinks I'm really having anxiety. I left with some motion sickness meds and crawled into bed that afternoon thinking... what in the world just happened to me. I stayed in bed for a couple of days until the vertigo subsided. I was fully expecting to feel back to my normal self since I thought the vertigo was causing all of this. But yesterday, I was laying in bed and started having visions of me having another panic attack. I went through different scenarios in my head... "what if this happens at the store... what if this happens at work... what is this happens at the gym??" It is taking over my thoughts! Today (Thursday) I decided to take a trip to the store. I did okay until about a mile from the store when I was in my car and noticed my heart was racing. I started to panic, "oh no, here it comes!" and my head got dizzy and I wanted to pull over. I rolled down the window and tried to concentrate on my breathing. That panic only lasted a minute or two. It happened again while I was waiting for the woman at the register to look up an order for me. My breathing was short, my heart was racing, my legs were getting weak and those symptoms were all I could think about. Here I am back at home, googling anything to help. I'm a spiritual person, so I've been praying about this. I know the Lord will give me the strength to get through it - but resources also help! When I stopped at another store today, it helped me to distract myself at the cash register. I complimented the woman's hair, which took the attention away from me worrying about having an attack. That seemed to help. I also like how the PC materials mentions that we tend to focus on things like shortened breath or racing heart - when in reality that can happen outside of a panic, so why freak out about something that happens occasionally?! I'm trying to remind myself of this.
It is nice to meet you all. My heart hurts for people that have been dealing with this a long time.
