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9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

It is raining, has been all night so I slept very sound. I'm sore enough to be in no rush to do anything so I'm watching it. It is really coming down so it will knock the snow back. Living is a challenge for me most days. I'm going to stand on a chair to wash cupboard doors today. I just can't reach otherwise. Well I always did like a challenge and the sense of accomplishment that comes from winning. I just took out all the "have to" in this paragraph, because I don't have to do anything I don't want to. Necessity might call for it but the choice is still mine. I'm the one in control. Agoraphobia is not allowed to rein here.

Now coffee sounds like a good idea.

Davit

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

I have a bottle of tylenol on my end table. Some days I take two before getting up. Some days I get tired of it. Today was one of those days except I didn't take them. Instead I got a coffee and breakfast so I could take some other pills. Ones I have to take every day twice a day. This routine gets a little old every so often. Just stale, not anxious or depressing. So for sanities sake I accept it and the fact I will get little or nothing done.

So why no anxiety and depression? Why am I not panicking? I don't know, I should be. It stopped more than five years ago and never came back again. Even when I got to spend two months in Hospital again. The thought patterns are changed and staying changed. Still I get tired of aching bad some days. It passes though.

I hope every one is doing the work and getting better too. And I hope you don't need a handy big bottle of Tylenol.

Davit

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

So much work and I wish I could say they are just goals unfortunately a big part of it is necessity and that makes it harder. Fortunately it is something I still like and want to do and still can.

Davit

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Hi Davit..Your off to a great start on those smart goals of yours. That's right is Time to start growing again my friend. I have a Ford Escort Wagon and you wouldn't believe what I can get in it..I love my wagon....Red:)

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Station wagons aren't meant to be used as trucks. But mine is. They managed to cram in four bales of peat moss, two bags of cow crap and bone meal and blood meal plus cat food. 120 dollars worth, but forty dollars worth is cat food. So I have no reason not to get started now. Forgot to buy cat treats and they told me so.

Davit

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

March is coming in like a lion. Cold and windy. I've yet to see the expression work in this valley though. What will be will be. Still a gentle end to March and a mild April would be nice.

Davit

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Jumped the gun today. I put some brickets in the BBQ and grilled chicken. A nice day despite the fact it was right on freezing. Not much sun either. Possibility of snow tonight and tomorrow. My brothers birthday tomorrow. His wife had her appendix out nine days ago. They usually go out for supper on his birthday. Knowing Pam they might still.

I moved some stuff out of the big green house so I can work in there. I have to start watering it. It dries to powder over winter.

Still a lot of snow here. Tomorrow will be cold and then start warming up again and melting more. Spring is coming.

That will improve my mood.

Davit

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

My blood pressure was a bit high today and that was enough to make me anxious. I have a medication for this that is besides what I normally take and it brings it down and the anxious feeling goes away. So what could have been a set back wasn't. Still the anxiety got me to check my blood pressure. This is a good thing. This is a case of removing the trigger not just how I see the trigger which is how I normally would. There is a difference between mental and physical triggers. This is one of the few you do not treat with thought. This is why it is important to know if you actually have anything physically wrong with you. And I have a few things I have to watch. For the rest I use CBT.

It was a nice day again, warm and calm enough to sit on the deck and have a coffee. Jasper (cat) was certainly enjoying rolling in the sun. I know spring isn't here, but I'm enjoying what we have. Last year was long and wet and cold. I'm hoping this one is not like that. If a crappy spring kills mosquitoes I'm all for it. Last year we had hardly any. Dare I ask for another bug free summer. Mosquitoes and gardening do not go together. Even if they are pollinators. I made a pumpkin pie from last falls pumpkin that I froze. Makes all that work worth it.

Davit

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hugs

You must have very close family ties if you will put up with a cousin interfering. Not so with me I guess. I won't even put up with that from my one and only brother. I gave him a choice. Accept me as I am or do without. He chose to do without. Unless I'm expecting a call from someone, the answering machine gets them. It is possible to have calls blocked but I won't pay for that. You can stand up for your rights. It even feels good to do it. Some times very good.

Is this cousin by any chance female? That would be even more annoying to me.

I hope your decluttering goes well. I'm a space case, I can't stand clutter. Karin moved out because I kept complaining about the clutter. I need room to move around. More than I need people it seems. (or ulcers)

It has decided to snow. Not much, just a few flakes. It is kind of pretty. I'm trying to make it to next month before I put peat moss and other stuff on my bill. It really is too early but it has been so spring like. I was going to go to town but fell asleep in my chair. How can cats sleep upside down. Maybe they don't. Maybe it is just Theodore. He is old, he sleeps 22 hours every day on average. And he is content, no panic attacks there. He snores though. I wonder if he dreams.

Getting windy, now this looks more like winter. Too warm though. It will probably just melt. Weather is one of those free things you can really enjoy if you try. It is good exposure and a way to work on positive thought. Good for Agoraphobia because you can't control it but you can control how you see it. Or not in the case of my sleepy cat who will sleep through it. But then he is a cat.

Davit

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

I have to do something about decluttering soon, probably hiring someone to help. I couldn't do it by myself before, so I'm admitting I might have problem. I have an insight that it could be less overwhelming, since it would be one room at a time. With it being 4 months almost that mom has passed, I have to resume life in some way. I just wish this self-centered cousin I have would stop phoning. I almost wish I could delete the call, since we have different lifestyles.

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Getting by 2