I'd posted a thread in a very, very dark moment. It's been deleted by the site. However, your comments in response were sent to me. I didn't even realize I'd been responded to. Thank you all!! It was very insensitive for me to not check back a few more times to see that people had responded. And it was irresponsible for me to not post that I've been getting focused help from two caring individuals. I'm still here. I wanted help to live, as opposed to someone who randomly seeks attention by making a threat. I promise my post was not a threat, nor was it attention-seeking. I was begging for help. Thank you Red1, Cardio, Perth, Ashley. Your thoughtful messages were sent to me. Having an auto immune disorder has complicated my life. Rather than see that not being diagnosed for years had caused me so much trouble, I blamed myself. Now that I am seeing this through different eyes, I have stopped that Black Dog in its tracks, and am working on getting my issues out to look at them more clearly. It's difficult to get to the source(s) of anxiety, without reflecting on some things you are ashamed of. When you poke around that past, sometimes things get larger than life. I hope if/when any of you get to that place of darkness, that you realize it's a sign that you are actually starting to heal, rather than focus on how it feels in that moment. Special thanks to Davit because he saw it for what it was and exposed it. (((((Hugs to all of you))))) Seeking help is so much better than quitting. I believe I will conquer anxiety and depression. The trick is...DONT QUIT!!
