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Things that bug you.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hello Cardio Tech

Thank you. You see it is good to know I'm not alone.

I've been alone most of my life and never wanted it so I jump into relationships even though there is nothing there. Not that many because I do look for some one compatible. But since there are few compatible and everyone has quirks this is still a recipe for failure. Your post is similar to me with one exception, people don't know how to deal with a cripple. And this is even before they know I have an anxiety disorder. This makes me sad of course. Before the arthritis I just threw myself into my work. But like I said I was used to being alone and there seemed like there was so much time.

I still think thinking about this and being sad contributes to the anxiety. LOL. I've gone through every DVD in the library a few times. It helps but isn't the answer is it. I bet we are not the only ones.

Davit

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 162

Being alone makes me sad. However, I don't enjoy going out/I'm not really a social person...so this is a double edged sword. I am more comfortable sitting at home watching a movie or playing a game with one or two people than going to a party where there are lots of others there....even if they are friends of mine. I don't see my friends very often, as they all have very different lives. I am the only one out of my group of good friends from high school who isn't married and/or has kids. This makes me sad as well. I don't have a significant person in my life...and because I dislike going out....I don't meet people/date.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

God I sound like a teacher, not my intention.

So now that I know what bugs me and how it affects my anxiety I want to talk about what makes me sad and how it affects me. First I have never been diagnosed as depressed even though depression is said to go hand in hand with arthritis and other forms of pain.

What makes me sad. Wow, I just realized lots of things do. This is not good. Here is a funny one. movies of people overcoming a major challenge. The latest one was "top of the class" it is about tourettes syndrome. How a person struggles to overcome a disability and wins. Why sad, because it hits too close to home. I've been fighting pain and anxiety too long with only winning over anxiety as a good ending.

Some times coming here and seeing how hard you struggle to recover because I know how hard it is and can find no convincing way to show you that you too can win. Every little accomplishment you post makes me happy so I keep coming even though all I can do is be support.

And here is the big one, people animals and especially the disable that are discriminated against or abused because they are different. I no longer hide my anxiety for fear I'll be made to feel bad. It still makes me sad to think how stupid and ignorant people can be. Ignorant I can accept but stupid not.

I was surprised to realize that being sad actually contributes to my anxiety even though it should just make me depressed. I can get nothing done when I'm sad and this make me anxious because I don't want to be this way.

There are so many things that contribute to an anxiety disorder, no wonder it takes so long to recover.

Davit.

Feel free to post what makes you sad, we may have things in common or I may notice things I have been hiding.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

This is very interesting and wasn't my plan when I posted this. I just wanted to see if we had similar things and if that was the source of our anxiety. Interesting that the most common thing is people. Second that the things they do that bug us are inconsiderate. And third for the most part we have no control over them doing these things. A minor point is that for some of these things they don't even know they are doing them.

So where does that leave us. It is tough. You can't tell a stranger they stink if they are in your work space. You can tell your supervisor and they can so it isn't directly from you. This is easier than telling someone close to you all their faults. Especially if they won't listen. So what do you think. Do you try to ignore it or take the chance and speak up. You know that doing nothing only increases the stress over time. The only other option is to find a way to make what bugs you less offensive. And in some cases this can be done. In some cases just knowing you have done all you can will relieve the stress. But that leaves some still unsolved. And those are the silent stressors that are causing you anxiety in my opinion. And the anxiety for each of us I think shows in where it happens, at work, at home, or on the road. Unfortunately CBT can not change people and they are the root here it seems. So do you think it can change our thoughts toward these people or more closely their actions. It seems to me to be the only answer.

Interesting that not only did I not mention dogs barking or cats peeing in the flowers but we picked out things people do. People who should know better, after all we share this space. Ignorance seems to be a common theme.

So there still is no answer. Assertiveness, increased self esteem, pride in our ability all help. And for the rest we have no control there is a change of thought patterns. Here is where I got to change the one person I could, myself since I can do nothing much about all those other people. I wonder if there is an answer I'm missing since not everyone has an anxiety disorder like I do. Still I will never get one hundred percent because I can't help it, some times people just make me mad. Some times they just get in my face.

Davit.

Ps. Lucky is the person that can leave the stress where it happens and not take it home to foment. (like ferment) I picked that because it is like raw wine, it builds up till it blows up.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

People that don't keep their word.

People that take others for granted.

People that force their will on others.

People that are always takers and never givers.

Red..

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 162

People who are late for no reason and don't apologize

People who are unclean/smell and have no reason to be

Adult children who do not help their elderly parents

Ignorance

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Distracted drivers Public transit users who don't show respect for others by littering,playing loud music,not being aware of others' needs for seating,particularly if they're handicapped or elderly Cellphone users who don't realize they're speaking too loudly, and make their conversations heard in public places(eg. physician's waiting rooms) I've learned to be more tolerant, watching my mom suffer to death, since I realize that my grievances are petty compared to her suffering.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 219

Top of my list:

Someone asking where something is instead of looking for it them self. (Laziness)

Someone yelling through rooms for me.

Not refilling the toilet paper roll when its empty.

A man watching a woman struggle with something heavy and not helping.

Noise pollution for no reason (big one for me)

Someone not cleaning up after them self.

Talking to me while I'm on the phone having a conversation. (This is another big one for me, a child can get away with this, an adult should know better.)

My missing paring knife. (I'm not trying to add humor, I'm really annoyed that its been missing now for about 3 days. "Nobody" has seen it or used it though.) This might go with Not putting things back.

Thanks Davit, I feel better now that I wrote those down and I agree with all of yours. I haven't gone ballistic yet, but I don't ignore all of these either. I swift assertive reminder has been spoken from my mouth in recent weeks. :)

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

I was kicking around how this was related to anxiety, and how some of them are unreasonable. I thought I'd post it and you can add to it or at least tell me how many of mine are unreasonable and what you would do about them. Some of yours I already know but it would be nice to put them together, as a game of sorts even.

So here goes,

Top of the list:

Being inconsiderate to others. Specifying would be nice.

Doing things half way.

Not putting things back.

Putting them back in the wrong place.

Making promises and not keeping them (this is a big one)

Dominating the conversation.

Making me wait

Making me wait and not going.

Telling me you don't want to hear it when you are the one that brought it up.

Commercials.

There are more. How many of these do you ignore and how many make you go ballistic. how many are yours too.

Davit

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