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One of the drugs is dopamine. Actually it is a hormone and a neurotransmitter. Being too low is thought to be connected to Arthritis, Diabetes, Parkinsons and high blood pressure. So now I need to find out what causes it to be low. I sure don't want Parkinsons. Dopamine is responsible for mood.
All the drugs that increase it have nausea as a side affect except the herbal supplement. Drugs that reduce the loss (reuptake inhibitors) eventually cause loss by loss of production. Like my loss of cortisone production.
Interesting that alcohol destroys Dopamine production but so does sugar. Is this why sugar makes some people anxious? Interesting. It makes me anxious.
The band Three Dog Night is named after the expression. Funny but I can't remember any of their songs. Or even if they were any good.
My research into memory is giving me some anxiety. I have a couple of medications to look up and then I think I'll leave it alone for a while. It is just that it is new and so my brain is treating it like it is foreign and foreign still gives me anxiety. I don't need the anxiety.
It's hard to resist the momentum that I had, driven by adrenalin, to keep going. But I guess I need some rest.
I just wish I could take my mind out of the "what if" mode, but something irreversible happened and I can't help..."what if...."
I did sleep a bit more last night, and that might be what my depleted body needs.
It's so tough to even visit the grave, which won't be settled until spring, for 5 minutes. And it's tough to write even one "thank you" card to a family member.
I didn't know what a "3 dog night" meant until I reviewed your earlier posts. I've heard it's a musical pop group.
When I was a young man I unloaded barges from break up till freeze up. Always at the end of the job when the last truck left the yard and the last barge was gone and the gates closed I felt a loss, it was just a loss of routine but still a loss and it was hard to pick up the pieces. Every time a guest leaves my house there is an empty spot. Karin is leaving and her stuff will go with her. I'll rearrange things but it won't be easy because there will be a loss of routine for a while.
Hugs, it is a weird feeling like my legs are made of sand and I have an anchor around my neck. I can do things, I just don't have a reason too. But this will pass and I will have a new routine. And a bunch of new memories. Things will be okay. And who knows, someone else may come to visit and pass through to where ever they are headed. No one knows the future, I just live it one day at a time to the best of my ability.
Warmer tonight, only -20C I should be able to dig out my car from its hill of snow. It might even start. The battery is not very good. Life goes on.
Besides having the flu, it's hard to make myself do things. I had so much motivation for my mom, but there seems to be so little of me left now. I seem to need rest.
Besides having the flu, it's hard to make myself do things. I had so much motivation for my mom, but there seems to be so little of me left now. I seem to need rest.
Besides having the flu, it's hard to make myself do things. I had so much motivation for my mom, but there seems to be so little of me left now. I seem to need rest.
Back in my trap line days this would have been considered a three dog night. Meaning a person would bring three dogs or more into the tent to supplement the heat. Fortunately I had cabins with stoves so didn't have to put up with smelly dogs. A person does what they must, in my case for the life I wanted. Some people have no choice. And we have seen what having no choice or no control does for anxiety.
I doubt your Mom was ever in better hands than when she was in yours. You did a good job. Now I would like you to take care of yourself just as well. Healthy body, healthy mind.
Davit.
PS life is not easy with crippling conditions both physical and mental but I know things could be a lot worse and one day they probably will be. I'm not sure if I will ever try sharing space with anyone again, this was not a good experience. I'm too much of a loner. I think I might go begging for home support again.
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