EvolutionHealth.care

Home
Main Forum
Anxiety
Success Stories!
Getting by.

Advanced Search Form

Getting by.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 219

Davit,

Lemongrass isn't invasive. I had planned to pull it apart into more pieces this spring, and replant in a few more locations throughout my flower beds so I would have more of it, of course that wasn't the case. It sure would help with the mosquitos though right now. I think I will have to go this weekend and purchase another plant. My tiger lillies are just starting to bloom and look beautiful. Last year I planted a Sweet Potato vine and it took over a good portion of one of the beds and was a beautiful purple color. This year I didn't plant one because it's a runner.

I have a sign in my flower bed nearest the door that reads "Knock, if no answer, pull weeds." Thankfully nobody pays attention to it. Weeding and deadheading is relaxing for me. It's a chore, but a worthwhile one since I get to reap the benefits of my flowers.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

JayDee

I'm sorry to hear you have mosquitoes. There are very few here and it is a nice day. I'm getting nothing done because my BP is too high. Maybe later when I get it down. I have pills for this but in this case I think it is stress and although I have pills for that I am loath to take them unless I have to.

I had to laugh, how do you mistake a bleeding heart for a weed. Is Lemon grass invasive? I have one plant I'm thinking of doing without because it runs underground all over. It is pretty but it doesn't repel mosquitoes. Campanula I think it is called.

I have been pretty much alone since I was 15. Even through three relationships. I lived with some one for twelve years and it must have been for convenience because we did very little together. The petals are falling off some of my flowers and I like to stir them into the peat moss so it doesn't look so messy. Funny thing is that I do this for me. Karin wouldn't even notice. I imagine you would. I spend quite a bit of time in my flower beds which she doesn't notice. I wonder if people think they stay weed free on their own. I'm funny about using the string trimmer before the lawn mower too so it doesn't look so messy.

I don't know if Karin will stay. She needs people a lot more than I do. Staying at my place got her back to BC which is what she wanted but I will not be surprised if she moves again to get even closer to family. And that is okay with me. I could go back to living alone very easy. Two people sharing a house saves money though and a lot of people my age are doing it. I could not do this without CBT. It has mellowed me out a lot. But like I said, I think my BP is up from stress so something must be bothering me. It will pass.

Back when I lived in Saskatchewan on the north shore of Lake Athabasca in a tiny cabin people burnt the fungus that grows on Deciduous trees to kill mosquitoes. The mosquitoes could be very bad there. That was the most peaceful time of my life. Now is just a poor substitute. I have to smile when I think how nice it was. No anxiety and no panic attacks.

I can't go back though so I make the best of it.

I am looking forward to things slowing down so I can go sit in a boat out on some small lake and think about how it used to be.

Davit.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 219

Davit,

I don't think being alone is a bad thing. I find it rather relaxing. I dislike sensory overload as I refer to it. Too much action and noise gets rather annoying after a while. I tend my flower beds alone and I actually prefer it that way now. My spouse thought my bleeding heart was a weed and pulled it out in the spring along with my lemongrass that helps repel the Mosquitos. The mosquitos are bad right now and I have numerous bites from sitting on the porch before lunch today. I thought about my missing lemongrass as I smacked at the mosquitos.

A nearby friend, or someone I socialized with on occasion just moved far away. I wasn't upset by this because it freed up more of my alone time. I smiled as I typed that, because this person sometimes was just an annoyance. So if alone time is relaxing it's a good thing to some extent. Just my humble opinion.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Chance of a thunder storm and high winds where I wanted to go fishing although it doesn't look like it here. So I'm not going. That in itself is a bit depressing. I'm getting used to disappointments. Like that song that ends "next year when the work is all done." It wouldn't be so bad if the boat wasn't sitting there ready to go. It wouldn't be bad at all if we didn't have a boat. But we do and it was a chore and an expense to get it here. Seems a shame to not use it.

My therapist told me I spend too much time alone and need to be more social, so I'm trying. But it isn't working. I'm still doing things alone. I garden alone, I maintain the acreage alone and I'm making lumber alone. I even share my house with a person who spends her time on the phone or computer. We haven't even watched a movie together. So I'm still spending my time alone, the only difference is that I'm not supposed to. WHY? I was happy till I tried to change. I even BBQ alone. This morning I sat on the deck alone with a cat and a coffee. And it was fine. Some of us are not meant to fit.

I was invited to go to the wedding with Karin. Lord why would I want to do that. A bunch of people I don't know. I'd rather pull quack grass and I hate quack grass.

It is starting to look like I'll be fishing alone.

Why am I writing this? Because I don't want a negative core belief that says being alone, doing things alone is wrong. I don't want depression just because I'm different. Just because I march to a different drum. "little boxes made of ticky tacky"

So now I am going outside to do what I want to do and if no one shows up I will be doing it alone and that is just fine by me.

Davit

Alone and happy in paradise.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Today I hooked the trailer to Karin's car and we took the boat with us to the store to see how it towed. There are two very steep hills. So tomorrow we will go fishing if we can get all our gear ready. My neck is sore from stacking the boards I cut on my mill on the porch out of any possible rain. Still hot and sunny and will be all next week.

Karin goes to a wedding Thursday and will be gone for a week. This makes no difference since we do little together anyway. Trying to kill a mosquito, well more than one, a few show up in the evening. There have been very few this year. Still hot and dry which is nice but I have to water for a couple of hours every day. No rain in sight. Garden is doing good but fruit is slow.

Davit

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Continuing to be hot and dry and it is sapping my strength. It is making me grumpy which can add to anxiety. Things are getting done though which is a good feeling. One sort of balances out the other.

My blood pressure has been higher than I like, some of it is diet, some is stress. The stress comes from sharing my house with some one who does things very different from how I do. Exposure of a sort that I would rather not do but a person can not live in a box. I do enough of that.

Anyway I had better get something done today.

Davit

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Today a rather large black bear ambled through the property like it owned it. This is the fourth bear, one actually had the audacity to help itself to some raspberries. I'll curb that thought.

Just one of those things one has to put up with to live in their country. They don't understand they have been conquered and now have a new set of rule. Just like I have rules I have to follow. Difference is that if Mr Bear doesn't follow the rules that he has to he becomes a rug. A little more harsh than what I have to do to get by. So I guess getting by is not so bad. Actually when you consider all I have gone through in my life, getting by isn't so bad at all.

Davit

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Mmmm... the raspberry pie sounds delicious Davit. Well deserved after continuous work in your garden!

I enjoyed reading your post from July 1st - comparing your enjoyment of witnessing the blossoming roses (after the strenuous gardening) to the rewarding feeling of achieving personal growth through dedicated CBT work.

I hope you continue to notice such rewards each day!

Vincenza, Health Educator

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

It is pouring out and has been all day. My garden will be okay because I make raised beds with two or three rows in each for small stuff and one row in each for big stuff like cabbage. I'm glad the weeding is pretty much caught up. I did some tilling before it rained and made myself sick in the heat. I don't like being sick so it brought on some anxiety that never made it to panic. I think I was probably always like that. I'm seldom sick and never from the flu or cold. And I never get flu shots. Been like that ever since I had Arthritis. If it rains tomorrow I'll clean house a bit, if not I weed in the potato patch even though it isn't bad. Weeding can be very relaxing if there are birds to watch and listen to. But too it could be just a chore if I wanted to look at it that way.

Made a raspberry glaze pie with whipped cream as incentive to do all this work. Just kidding, I don't need incentive to garden, I enjoy it. I enjoy raspberry pie too.

Can't see the mountains so it will probably rain all night.

Off to eat the last of the pie.

Davit

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

I keep getting the error screen. All my avatars are under 50kb.

Davit

Reading this thread:

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved

Getting by.