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understanding anxiety

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Not everyone can be what they would like to be. But they can be the best they can even if it falls short of what they would have liked. There is a price to pay when you climb the social / economic ladder. I just can't pay that price. It has nothing to do with ability, but to do with attitude and personality. I am a loner at heart, I don't do well competing. I can, but I always feel bad after instead of feeling accomplished. I used to play billiards with a guy who had to win. He never attempted a hard shot, instead he would try to block my shots making it hard for me. I got very good because there were no easy shots. He never understood that when I lost, I lost to me not him. I lost because I was trying something I knew only had a faint chance of working. I could have beat him anytime if I played by his rules. But they were not my rules.

Play by your own rules and be happy. Winning is not everything.

Davit

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 101

Satisfaction.......

yes Davit I feel quite satisfied;Mental satisfaction.There are almost no panic attacks.The panic behaviour is now changed.I feel better.Its all because I make now a limited exposure to situations which cause me panic.

I am likely to increase this exposure in a slow & steady manner.

I feel satisfied mentally.I feel dissatisfied from my social status & money. But now I feel confidence.I feel good & enjoy my work now. Keeping my anxiety in control is now the top priority for me.Money comes second.Previously It was not with me.

rohit131

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

I have a new friend, He was an engineer and worked for doctors without borders. I don't know why he is working at what he is now but he certainly seems happy. Although there are those that would say it is a big step down. Seems this place attracts people doing that. Very capable qualified people too. Like me, I just want the quiet life. (even if my days are long). It is satisfying.

Davit.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 101

I feel a natural flow of anxiety in myself when situation goes against me;

When I am in challanging role where you have to prove your worth.

In other situations I feel good & comfortable.This was natural in me when I was in

highscool around 18 yrs back.I felt to have treatment of it in 1997 when I was 17.There was hard time

for me.But one feel from inner;I will prove myself.I will breakthru this anxiety.

In 2006 inspite of depression nd anxious behaviour I decide to leave my home for a good

opportunity.It was a hard time;I was not able to understand what was happening to me.

I felt a good time from 2007-10.But time was horrible from 2011.I felt there is some real

problem with me.But my doctor said me it is treatable.I will be alright.But situation goes

worse.I was under big pressure from my bosses side for performance.I saw a decline in my health

daily.Every body ask me question.How u are getting so weak & depressed.I went for good session

of CBT but all in vain.In Nov 2012 I finally left my good job.I HAVE NOW ACCEPTED MY ANXIETY.

I HAVE NOW MADE MY OWN BOUNDARY.Crossing these boundries will tend to bring back anxiety.

Its a flight situation for me.Else what Can I do?I have now accepted myself as it is.

I avoid challanges;avoid big roles;avoid big responsibilities.But from inner I REALLY WANT

TO PERFORM;REALLY WANT BIG ROLES.But FEAR OF ANXIETY MADE ME TO AVOID ALL GOOD THINGS & CHALLANGES.

One POSITIVE I want to share with u guys.I have now started getting good assignments from

my clients.Its not very good but I have some level of satisfaction from last one month.

I am doing good.This is will be for next 3 months.I hope to get some more good even after these

3 months.

Thanks for reading my post friends

rohit131

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Cara

It is early yet. But you are definitely on the right track. I remember thinking I would have anxiety for ever and was happy just to know I could control it enough to get through the day. Accepting this so I wouldn't focus on it was a major key. Yesterday I was just walking along after working the tractor and putting it away when anxiety hit. Instead of panicking I asked myself what I had done wrong. Well it was after 8pm, I was tired and my BP was up because my beta blocker was due. Still it was enough to be noticeable and bring a return of anxiety. It didn't help that I ate a whole bag of M+Ms. But the thing is that it didn't stay. I got a cup of tea and took the pill and just got on with what needed to be done. Back to normal in a very short time. I'm putting in long days, this is going to happen again I'm sure. I know one thing, it will never turn to panic again. That is behind me.

Davit

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 169

I absolutely agree with Ashley. That was what I was doing wrong the whole time, I was giving my anxiety feeling so much power!!!

Now when I feel that anxiety, I let it come or tell myself its not important there are other things I can do. I actually had a health scare and during that time I was anxious but I over came it. After that incident, I was taught that I am stronger than I am, and that anxiety was just giving me nothing but stress. I admit I do have anxiety and when I am most stressed out I get the anxiety back but now after doing the program and reading alot about CBT and doing the books, I know have the tools to manage. I do get dizziness here and there and anxiety, and I have accepted that I will always have them now.

I just wanted to let anyone know theres hope, but you have to remain strong and have the power to beat this anxiety. I thought I was going to have this forever, a few good moments lead to days without, then lead to weeks and sometimes I do get them but I don't give them anything over me. Ashley is right, it is just feeling. Talk yourself out of it and count your blessings.

Thanks to all who helped me. My main anxiety is my health, I am slowly working on this....not paying it any attention. -change of thought patterns and challenging helps!

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11213

Hi Rohit131,

It sounds like you have put a lot hard work into controlling your anxiety. It also sounds like you are focusing a lot on your anxiety. It can be very hard to stop thinking about anxiety when you are always in fear that anxiety will return. It might be helpful for you to read about desensitising yourself to anxiiety and even look into practicing mindfullness when you are feeling anxious. Anxiety is just a feeling after all. Once you allow yourself to feel it as just a feeling and nothing else you may be able to take the power away from the fear. What do you think?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

I believe as do a lot of people working in the mental field that mental function boils down to survival. This they have told me. Okay that is accepted, but how they treat mental conditions varies a lot. There are those that will tell you everything is okay as you vent and you go home thinking everything is and quickly discover that everything is not. This type of therapy is usually a combination therapy with medication. Medication doing most of the work.

Another therapy is the exposure therapy. I don't like this one. It is like bleeding a person to make them better. I'm a gardener, I wouldn't stress a plant to make it grow better. Chances are it will quickly produce seed and die.

Then there is the one where they point out everything wrong with you and throw in a few guesses and make you feel like there really is something wrong with you.

The one thing these all have in common is that you keep going back and shelling out more money.

But there is one other way of dealing with this since it is based on survival. That is where your therapist does none of the above but instead points you in the right direction with necessary information and lets you find the answers. Now this one works because we are all different and we all need our own way of treating our disorder.

Yet people still buy the books that say do this and you will be cured. I think you would get more help from a roll of toilet paper. Okay, exaggeration, there are some books that help. Not many. I'm in a good mood today. See I'm in a good mood because I have found my own personal way of dealing with all the stress around me. I can't believe how I used to be. I think clear, very little bothers me and that which does I have ways of working around it. But you may not want to do what I did. I shed unnecessary thoughts and actions. What I do and think now is for me and mine, not for appearance. My new partner thinks the same way. Don't get me wrong, I haven't got selfish, I still help people.

It has been a long row to hoe so to speak but the benefits are worth it. Life is good without all that unnecessary stress that comes from letting stress have the upper hand.

The only hard part was breaking a lifetime of wrong thinking. Change is hard. But it is not impossible. Which brings me to my point. This program won't cure you, but it will help you cure yourself. And a cure is what we all want. Anything worth doing is worth doing right.

Davit.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

There are two types of people referred to as Apples and Oranges because of there difference. There is every combination in between but in the end people tend to be more one than the other. Apples are very common and make up the majority of the people so Oranges feel shunned and left out. The truth is though that Oranges are special and unique. A pity that they are treated like lesser beings, but majority rules. I'm an Orange fitting into an Apple world. For Apples the bottom line is money and status for which they are continually watching so no one gets more than them. For an Orange money is necessary but not as important as compassion. Family comes first, friends come first and you can be sure that another Orange will not stab you in the back or steal your status. Oranges are all equal in another Oranges eyes. Apples can not and never will understand this equality. Apples don't have friends, they have associates that can advance them, sometimes mutually. You can never totally trust an Apple and they will never trust you. Apples push people to be Apples because they need other Apples to feed on for their advancement. The more you achieve with spin offs for them the more they will help you advance as long as you stay where you belong you can achieve much but there is always a price. At some point in time you have to decide which one makes you the happiest and go for that life. Oranges do not do well with Apple partners. The Apple will make the Orange feel weak. In truth to be an Orange takes great inner strength and this inner strength is what makes Oranges more capable of overcoming anxiety. Apples only overcome anxiety by giving it to some one else. In my part of the country Oranges are not only accepted but treated with respect for their independence. A rare thing now a days.

Never be ashamed of who you are, we are all special, just some of us more so.

Davit.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 101

I feel more anxious on Monday than any other week day.Monday,the start day of work is very difficult for me in comparison to other days.My anxiety is highest on Monday and is least on Saturday.Sunday is always a good day for me as far as I remember.Its all due to work pressures in profession where there is peer pressure to perform in limited time.It still exist in me after leaving my job.

I nowadays have a good control on my anxiety.Thoughts & other negative feelings are in control.

Anxiety as I felt is like a computer malware/virus.It increases exponentially wrt time giving no time to control yourself.All measures then go in vain when there is anxiety attack.It all happens when any situation goes against me.Anxiety is not like for a short period or for a limited time.It remained there,continues thereafter;disturbed me;confused me;degraded me and finally I quit from my good job.

I am now living a good life with my family,working on a low salary work;My social status seemed to be gone.

I now fear from going back again to a more responsible job.The fear is still here and till present I am not able to overcome it.I feel I have now compromise with anxiety.Its like flight situation for me.I fight for 8 years in my different roles & jobs.I saw more bad days and less good days.Now I am in my hometown doing a job of low salary;living a good life with my parents & family.

But every morning when I wake up I do not forget to curse myself at least once .Scolding myself for my unsuccess & anxiety.The compromise I made up with my anxiety.What can I do else then? Feels left with no option due to anxiety.

Just a thought I wanted to share with u all.

rohit131

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understanding anxiety