rohit
There are three basic reasons for working.
1. It makes you happy.
2. You can make someone else happy.
3. You are required too.
You can fit anyone or all three. The more you fit the easier it is.
If I was a therapist like my therapist I would ask the same questions she would, and some of them would be just for background.
What makes you happy when you are not working? This is important because it gives you purpose in life. It makes #3 easier. Is it related to what you do for a living? This makes #1 easier. In this case it can be something only related slightly. Like creativity. Do you like to build things? Do you like to see things grow? These are related to engineering but only related in that there is a challenge. Taking this one step further it makes #2 easier by taking the focus off you and also taking the focus off #3.
So now you have to establish why you want the job you apply for. If the only reason is #3 then it will be difficult and you will most likely not be happy.
Now to compound it. If even though you know you have all the skills you need but you think in the back of your mind
(core belief) that you aren't quite good enough you will have a conflict. Basically you will have two answers to every question and this is what causes the confusion, sweating and heart pounding. Because you have an answer for every question asked you but also an opposite answer for your core belief. If you get the job you will still do this. You will do a good job but that is not what you will tell your core belief.
Taking a lesser job is easier because by doing it you fulfill the core beliefs expectations.
So to stop this you have to either have a lot more confidence than you have right now which takes time by building confidence by slowly taking jobs with more responsibility. Proving over time the core belief is wrong.
Or you can you can accept the core belief as a problem to overcome and work like it were true.
This way there is no conflict between what you know and what you believe.
What I am saying is that when you apply for a job apply like you are barely qualified but want it real bad. In this case the sweating and racing heart are normal and belong there. Your total concentration is then proving to yourself and those that are important that you can do the job good enough to be hired. Once hired you will have time to prove the core belief wrong.
And this brings us back to the first part of the post. Why do you want the job in the first place? That will tell you how difficult it is going to be and what to expect doing it. It is possible to do a job that fits #3 only if it means you can enjoy the weekend and holidays more but still the more reasons to work the easier it is and the easier applying for work is.
Duty is the most common reason to work but not the best or easiest reason. You would not be alone. More people are finding duty and the need for a lot of money the only reason for working and it is not making working easy for them.
I hope you are an engineer because you like it, that will make it easier too.
The only way you can believe in yourself is by proving the core belief wrong and in this case I think it will need time.
It would mean a constant battle every day saying your core beliefs are wrong, that you are better than you think. That you really are as good as you know, not as you think. Knowing comes from doing, thinking comes from memory. Prove to your memory by doing. This doesn't mean you have to work to the best of your ability but you have to see you are the best you can be in what ever you do. No matter what the job is. The core belief is hard to change because they are so believable. Once you prove it is wrong and have a realistic idea of your limitations (everyone has limitations) you can do anything you want with confidence. Even as I did, jobs I was not qualified for but learned. I had to overcome my core belief that I was not good enough by proving to myself what I knew. That I was more than good enough.
I had one advantage, that was that I was doing things for all three reasons.
Any questions.
Davit
