Kama I am sorry to hear how hard it is for you to leave your home.
I know you have mentioned in your area it is hard to get services, is there anything you can do online or on the phone? I know some therapy centers off phone services for people are unable to leave their homes and so forth.
As for pleasant activities, I do find these hard at times. It seems it is so hard to get back into a pattern of doing things you like. For me it was as simple as walking and going to the gym.
I going to try and go to the aquarium this weekend, even it means by myself. I'll see if I can get a friend to go or not. Sunday night I might do a mile walk thing that is through a light display at a place here. Some friends from college are doing it, so I will see if I am able. Lately driving at night seems harder then normal and I feel so tired at times.
Just reading your examples, made my stomach turn. Some made me burst in to tears. For example I have had on my daily "TO DO" list to walk. But, whenever I try to leave the house I be sick, get severe stomach upset and end up spending the next few hours in the bathroom. No one, but I can help myself. So, if I can't do it, what hope do I have? This is so hard to explain. No doubt people would just think I'm lazy- maybe I am!
I have no idea how to change. "It" does not discriminate between the good, the bad, the indifferent. Whether I love the activity or find it a chore or difficult, I still get all the symptoms of anxiety.
I'm losing hope. I use to be so motivated and optimistic. Even for the first several years of this illness I still had hope, but that is fading, especially after such a bad year with Community mental health Services. Since I started with them it has been a nightmare. My meds are causing havoc. We have no psychiatrist in our area (200km radius). My GP does not know what to do. I want to do a bit of art, drawing, but I avoid it, despite it being something I really want to do. My bad!
You found a great space to connect with others who have had similar experiences, working through feelings of panic and anxiety. So glad to hear you are excited to work through the program. Keep us posted with your progress and how the program is helping you along.
In addition to the great advice shared by Davit & Hugs4U, I recommend doing some deep breathing techniques and/or make time to get outside and go for a walk. Getting your circulation going provides more oxygen to your brain, you can think more clearly and logically as you breath out stress & feelings of anxiety.
Your insight into language is important in getting better. Recently I was puzzled that course didn't apparently have any students or teacher outside the classroom, so I went back to the administrator and inquired, since there was a class going on already.
The office staff stated that I was "eager", instead of "anxious". The explanation was that the instructor who was teaching would be leading a different course, in the same room, minutes later, and the students on their way, would be joining me.
That helped me to grasp the importance of language, since I could have been told to take " a chill pill" or "relax" or been dismissed in some way, but this administrator saw something worth building on to make wish to continue.
Hopefully we can support each other as we strive towards our healthy life goals.
I take a beta blocker for my skipping heart. The way it was explained to me was that your heart can speed up if there isn't enough oxygen in your blood but it can't do much if there is too much other than skip. I used to hyperventilate when I was excited about something. You could try rebreathing into a paper bag. It will balance the carbon dioxide to oxygen levels and also be a distraction.
CBT is the process of changing thought patterns. In your case to where your symptoms aren't important. And it does work. Getting ahead of myself to core beliefs, can you remember a time in the past when you had such a bad scare it felt like your heart stopped? If so, was it attached to an activity that was supposed to be fun. This is called associated memory. If so it is the reason planning something pleasant triggers the symptoms. And it doesn't have to be you, it could be someone close even. These situations get built on with similar situations in the news or movies or being around people that dwell on them adding to your focus.
I'm new to this site and am excited (not anxious! LOL) to get started with the program.
Regarding pleasant activities, I tend to plan a lot in my head but when I start feeling my physical symptoms (for me it's usually skipped beats) the rest of my day usually ends up focusing on just that :-(. By the time my boys get home from school I'm mentally exhausted from all the anxious thoughts and feel so guilty after they go to bed because it was just another day of me not being able to do much with them. Any advice on how to feel more motivated to go on despite what my mind is telling me??
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