I have been thinking about the hernia surgery that I scheduled for the end of December and am having second thoughts about having it done.They don't have authorization for the surgery yet but will have it by next week. So I still have time to change my mind. The scheduler said to give her a call if I need to reschedule my surgery or anything. My pre opt isn't till the 19th of this month.
There are some many what ifs and unknowns with this surgery. I have seen two surgeons and they both said that this surgery my not fix my pain and that I could have worse chronic pain after having this surgery. There are no guarantees of any kind. They are really not very positive about the outcome. The doctor is hard to talk to and this was my second meeting with him. When my name was called and my partner and I were walking down the corridor to a exam room our eyes meet with the doctors and his expression was one of angry and rage. My partner and I both noticed it. We said hello but he said nothing. When he came in the room his demeanor had changed some but he is very cold and I am a little scared of him. When I told him I was thinking that maybe it was time to do the surgery now. He hurried out and said he would start the paperwork and then came back..He didn't seem to want to talk once he though I wanted surgery, even though after he sat me down with a scheduler he was wandering around doing nothing. He asked about the kidney surgery I had when we were in the exam room though it was done in 2004 and seemed shocked that it was done in 2012. It was done at his clinic and hospital so he should have know this already. He even though my kidney was removed when it was not. So I showed him copy of the opt report that I had brought with me. I told I had emailed his nurse and asked her to correct the date that they had put in the history that the doctor had put down for that surgery.
Anyway the long and short of it is I am not comfortable with the doctor or doctors or the surgery yet really. I have a lot of thinking to on this before I can agree to go through with any of it.
I have been feeling better every day and this surgery could cause me to have a major setback both physically and mentally. Like the two surgeons and my primary doctor have said more than once there is no guarantee I will not have increased chronic pain after surgery. The surgeon also said also I will not need narcotics when I go home but he is going to keep me in the hospital to make sure my pain is under control.. I am getting so many mixed messages from the doctors that it really leaves with a bad feeling and not knowing what to do. I had a appt with my primary doctor right after the appt with the surgeon and he said I would have a lot of pain after surgery and the surgeon must really be great if he thinks I would not need pain meds after surgery. The doctor said I want you to know that this is a painful surgery and you will be in a lot of pain after..
I think I will be calling them Monday and cancelling this. surgery. It is my choice and I can still wait until it becomes a emergency situation. Which may never happen..I am really do well right now and have to way the pros and cons of doing this surgery right now.
Sorry for the ramble but I am really scared right now..
Lifes Choices and Decisions are not always easy ones and we have to live with the choices we make and hope for the best. Right now I still have a choice so I do have some control this situation. This isn't as simple as picking out a new new pair or shoes or having a house remodled. Their is a human mind and body involved here..I wish I felt this doctors were mindful of that but I really don't think they see me as a living and breathing person.
