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11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

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Feels like hell week all over!!

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2024-10-30 9:38 AM

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

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2024-10-14 12:28 PM

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

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2024-09-27 3:17 PM

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How to Initiate Intervention?


10 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Just to add, I have a friend who visited during the summer, who went off the deep end.  Her character was not recognizable, since she couldn't listen, talked incessantly and didn't tell me she walked so badly, she needed a wheelchair on an outing.
 
And she denied there was anything "wrong" with her.
 
Looking back, I wanted to call her sister, but I'm certain the behaviour hasn't gone unnoticed.
10 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Vincenza,
I suggested contacting pain management clinics(no one in particular), but I'm not sure this was done.  They have their own social circle, and I'm isolated as a caregiver with my parent.  I also offered a book but I don't think I'm taken seriously, since their values revolve around their gated community and an illusion of success. 
 
As a caregiver, too much is expected.  What surprised me, and seems to be the case, is that the more I do, the less they want to do. 
 
I need my space, and self-care, too.   What I don't need is two armchair quarterbacks, who don't wish to use elbow grease.
 
I've just about finished reading the book "Why Not" which is about finding meaning in one's life.
 
I might read the book "They're Your Parents Too",  and later do the module on relationships, since time is limited, and there are 35 days left in the year.
 
What's ironic is that we're both distancing ourselves from each other.  No one wants to get caught in the spiral of caregiving that I'm in.  Similarly, I'm exhausted and wish to pace myself and achieve the balance to be available, but not to get involved in others' issues.
 
Maybe some retail therapy on cybermonday will help
 
10 years ago 0 1853 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Perhaps you can offer contact info for health care professionals if your brother and his wife could benefit from outside support? Vincenza, Health Educator
10 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Vincenza,
It's not sudden.  Somethings up with his wife, but he seems to rely on his friends, who are more techies than well-read in the medical field.
 
I have too much on my plate, and don't need more stress, and he doesn't seem to listen anyway.
 
 
10 years ago 0 1853 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Hugs, 

Is this a sudden change you've noticed with your brother or one that's been evolving for awhile?
Have you tried discussing your concerns with him before?  If so, how did it go?  What is your relationship like with your brother now?  
I recommend working through the 'relationship' section of the program on this site to see if you  can identify the most effective way to communicate with him.  Please keep us posted.
Vincenza, Health Educator
10 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
My brother seems unpredictable, while I struggle with caregiving for my parent, who needs more help with time.  My social has disappeared a long time ago.
 
He's working, but I think he needs help, but I'm not sure what's going on, and I have enough patience to ask him what he needs.
 
Once I needed an intervention, but I wouldn't let anyone near me, and I made the irreversible decision to leave work, regretfully.
 
I thought of speaking to his social circle or work, but I have no connection to him. 
 
For once, I wish I watched those reality shows, to understand what's going on?
 
Anybody have any input?

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