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11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Sunflower

Put in that light I would have to say you are right. I would think there would be less pressure driving truck. More work probably and not as exciting as computers maybe. Maybe, because I feel if a person tries they can make any job exciting or not. But frustration can breed negative so easy. Responsibility without pride is another negative builder.

As for the job, try to take the focus elsewhere. By this I mean if you don't have to be 100% on the job then take little mental breaks to think of something else. Just fun thoughts, even ridiculous thoughts like owning a castle or a private jet.

Sort of like day dreaming with one eye on the job still. Ever notice how some people never shut up. This is what they are doing, taking the focus elsewhere without even knowing they are doing it. And yet mechanically doing what they have too still. I will be with you in spirit even though I will be sweating in my garden, there is something you can think of. Me pulling weeds in the hot sun. Growing a winter supply of carrots and things.

Davit

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2606

Hello Sunflower Painter,

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling afraid and lost. It is quite apparent that you have a lot of anxiety about this new job that you have accepted. Davit brings up a great point, is there a way you can change the "have to" to a want to. That is the difficult part but if you can work on it slowly but surely you might really believe it. CBT therapy (the basis of the online program) is designed to help change the way you think to then ultimately change your behaviour. Do the homework provided here in the program it can be really helpful. If this job is something that you really have no choice in, your best bet is to try working on the anxiety associated with it. Wishing you all the best,

What will you do going forward to start working on the anxiety associated with this job?

Samantha, Health Educator

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 250

I think my biggest problem is lack of confidence. I really don't think I have the skills to do much of anything. I feel worthless for the most part. I trained in child care but still feel like I am too stupid to do it.

I know I have to also force myself to do things that I am afraid of just to see if I don't want to do the task only because of fear or if there is another reason.

I have applied and applied for jobs not in my skill set but no one calls me back, I have hand delivered resumes too. I think finding a job is very hard in my city right now. I look for a job outside of child care, can't find anything, panic and then work in a field I don't want to. I am frustrated with myself too. I am stuck in a vicious circle.

I suppose you are right. I need to find the positives to make this work. Positives: the money is good, higher wage than other fields. Occasionally the work can be rewarding. It is close to home. That is about it. I gave those reasons because I had to, not because I necessarily believe them. I have a million negatives for the job but there is not much I can do about this. I just wish I could take some pills to make me numb. I wish I could be rescued but I am on my own besides this forum and I am thankful for that.

I did sign up for a special program that helps people find work who struggle with mental health issues but it is not until October or so. I think I need live person help, not just an online course. This forum helps a lot. I really wanted to take that course and get some help but we are running very low on cash.

I don't know how I can do this. I threw up today just thinking about working tomorrow for only 4 hours! I start full time on the 2nd.

I am going to push myself to go tomorrow. I don't know what to do about the 2nd but I will take this one step at a time.

As for my husband, his father offered him his semi-truck and his truck driving business so his Dad could retire. His Dad is now 70 and is getting tired of driving but he can't afford to fully retire. He was hoping my husband would drive with him so he could just drive part time. My husband used to be a truck driver but quit to go back to work in computers. Now his job is coming to an end soon due to lay offs. I thought it was a great opportunity. I thought it would solve so many financial problems as he would make double what he makes now and it would solve a lot of health issues that my daughter has as well. She misses school a lot due to her stomach problems. If I only worked part time doing something I could be here for her.

I don't want to make him do what he doesn't want to do but at the same time my husband is making me work a job that I don't want to. I feel so angry towards him. I am so resentful.

Anyways, I better go. Thanks Davit, please help as much as you can.

Sunflower

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Sunflower

My training is in electronics. If I had of stayed in it I might be very rich. I had my first diploma to hang on the wall when I was 15 and I already had a business. I very quickly realized that although I was good and I liked it I did not have what it took to make money at it. The wrong personality. Forty years later I find myself living in a community of like minded people doing what they like but were never trained for. The one thing we all have in common, we do very little because we have to. A broken water pipe is a have to and minor as it is it causes stress because all "have to's" are negative and cause stress. All of us are here because we want to be and all of us are doing what we want to. Those that can't do that go where they can. It doesn't always create a happy ending but it is short lived most of the time.

You can not do something because you have to and be happy. You either have to do something else or do the job because you want to. I can only think you keep going back to child care because you want to. Subconsciously any way. Even though you use that dreaded word have to. (yes I know it is two words.)

So if you are going to do this job you have to convince yourself to do it because you want to. Can you give me three or more reasons you want to? I can think of five at least. No reasons you have to but only reasons you want to.

Otherwise and this is only my opinion, you have to find a different job. Which won't work if you take a have to attitude to it also.

Sunflower I am trying to help you and support you with CBT techniques that work. We all want you to be happy. Unfortunately you have made it clear you have to work. Can we help you some how change that have to to a want to. Be honest, is there anything we can do. This is a support group. You can tell me I can't help but I think you would be wrong. I think there are a lot of factors that are causing this stress and you need to find them and deal with them one at a time.

Possibly the only way your husband can work is by doing a job he likes. Possibly he is too tired to do a higher paying job, possibly it would be too hard, even if only mentally. There must be a reason why he turned it down.

Sorry if this is tough love but I know of no other CBT technique that would work. And it does work. Personal experience on my part and others. Unfortunately it is hard to change this thought pattern. Not impossible, just hard.

Davit.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 250

I am really not sure what to do anymore. I feel so afraid and mad and lost.

I have to take a full time job working in child care that I don't really want. I tried to find part time work but there wasn't anything out there. I am not afraid and panicky because I will have to be outside with the kids in very hot weather. I don't cope with heat at all. I sweat a lot and am uncomfortable. I also burn very easily.

But I am stuck. I have to take this job. I am trapped. My husband was recently given the opportunity to make a lot more money at another job but he turned it down. I don't understand why my husband gets to make choices and I don't? Life isn't fair.

I am losing hope that I will ever get through this.

Sunflower

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