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11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

rohit

A question only and I don't need an answer but you might. This is from my own life and I found it important.

Do you know the work you do? I mean if there was no pressure would you be able to do it with no trouble? Is it the pressure that leads to you getting scolded? In your world status is far more important than in mine but still I felt like you except I found a job where I could perform what I was very good at without any chance of criticism. I took flight you might say. See the problem is that the boss may not always be right, but he is always the boss. And this can affect how you perform. Especially if you know what you are doing is right. I just never had any interest in being a boss, I just wanted to do my job to the best of my ability. Confidence is not knowing you are good so much as knowing you are good even if others do not think so. They could be wrong. Look at how many times you are right, not how many times you are wrong. Learn from the wrong and it will be fewer. Work slowly and be proud of your accomplishments for this is the key to confidence. Money is necessary but reputation is gold. Go for the gold and money will follow.

You know I never applied for a job in my life, reputation kept people knocking on my door. A very good feeling.

But don't use me as an example, I was more concerned with happiness than responsibility. But I know how it is supposed to be in the real world, I just never needed to live in it. Maybe not a good choice in the long run.

Davit

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 101

Davit,

You probably says the right word;go ahead and take decision.Make a mistake and learn from it.But there is some problem with me.Even if I take decision whether right or wrong;I don't feel confident about my decision & that is the real problem.A state of confusion starts building which leads me to flight rather than fight.I feel embarras due to the situation where I get strong scolding by senior.

A temporary solution is that I left my high salary job where there is too much responsibility.I joined a low salary job where no body is my boss and I act as a consultant.But again I have to expose myself in a challanging environment in future for money & reputation.I am preparing myself for some more challanging work.I will start that work soon.

Lets hope for the best for self betterment.

Keep in touch and share your good views.

rohit131

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

rohit.

The stumbling block you have is simple but not that easy to cure due to where it comes from. Remember core beliefs?

You still like everyone else think automatic and at the speed of light. Except you add a condition between each of these thoughts. You check to see if they are negative or positive even though in your mind you already know. This fogs the situation and can even block the next thought leaving you wondering where you are. It is a fear of making a mistake. Go ahead and make the mistake, there probably isn't one anyway. You can always correct it. Get back to just doing it and never mind why, this will get you past the 80% capacity. It will give you confidence also when you realize you make very few mistakes and those you do are no more than others do. No one is perfect all the time but if we let ourselves go sometimes we can be truly amazing.

Think about dodging traffic. This is an automatic process that takes no conscious thought, you just do it. Thinking too much on it slows down the process.

I'm very confident that if you learn to do this it will give you the confidence to change your core beliefs and handle bigger challenges. It will give you back your life so to speak, but will not change how you feel about work that is still attitude. For that you really have to want to do it and enjoy it to be able to.

Davit

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 101

Dear Vincenza & Davit,

It is true that as you passes one hurdle you then look for another challange.I am at present is quite well as compared to 4 months back.Davit knows it very well.

Davit,in one of your post you mentioned the word "automatic" & reaction at "speed of light".The things with normal pupils goes like this and they don't even know how easily they were able to solve the problem "automatically" without getting stressed.

I have a confidence of 70% till date.I can reach to 80% in 2-3 months;I have this confidence.But this is really very tough to reach above 80%.So I think that when I am able to find solutions to my in "automatic" manner & at "speed of light" ;I wud be able take new challanges.Because at that time the fear in my mind will be at stage of almost disappearing.

Dear Davit,pl suggest on grounds of reaching above 80%.

I am now constantly engaging myself in following activities for my betterment-

-Daily One hour in early morning yoga,pranayam & sudarshan kriya in fresh air.

-Engaging myself in productive activities as job.

-Exposure to smaller & medium level challanges.

-CBT for me & frequent website visit

-Giving time to my family & sharing my experience to 100% about my mental health.

I really want to get rid of this fear;What else shud I do dear for getting prepared "automatically" for bigger challanges.

rohit131

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Hi rohit131,

I would encourage you to prepare yourself for bigger challenges. Think back to how you felt prior to starting with smaller exposure work. Did you have any concerns or fears then?

After challenging yourself, you have notice the results have been quite positive! You must feel great after realizing you CAN do this!

Take small steps towards your next goal. You will not know what you are capable of or how you will feel until you try!

Know that we are here for you!

Vincenza, Health Educator

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

rohit

If you can be comfortable 80% of the time in bigger exposures do it. 80% or better is considered pretty good. Less than 100% is not a failure. Very few people attain 100%. And don't get yourself into a position where you have no escape route. Try the bigger challenge and leave it if or when you are not comfortable. Work up to where you are only uncomfortable that 20%. And never consider not being able as a failure, it just means it is too soon.

I think your fear of seniors is a fear of their experience. Can you change that fear to respect for their experience. Remember you can not compete with their experience till you have experience also. Which you will get in time.

Patience my friend you are doing very well.

Davit

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 101

I have some nature of getting afraid from challanges,fear of seniors,remain in depressed mood for small reasons.

Its like whenever I thought of getting rid of them,the more I get trapped.

I now started by exposing myself to a limit in situations;the results are quite positive.Should I prepare now for more big challanges?I fear after a limit because of fear of getting defeated.

Is there any method thru which I can be able to change my this very nature;so that I can sustain in more challanging situations.

Pl suggest.

rohit131

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