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Sick and tired of panicking

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11214

Ok take your time with it. It is ok to jump around but best to go in order. Keep us updated on how it goes.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3

I've finished reading through session 1, and I've jumped ahead to session 6 for now, before I return to session 2.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11214

Hello,

Rewards can be anything you wish. The best rewards don't involve money like a phone call to a friend, an extra hour with a good book, etc. But of course some can involve money - as long as you feel it is a reward. Plan out your goals and rewards accordingly. Coming here posting and being present to your success is important too.

Exposing yourself to body sensations that trigger panic in session 7 I think will be helpful for you once you are at that stage of the program. What session are you on now?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

With anxiety disorders a trigger doesn't have to be an actual trigger an associated memory is enough to take you to the actual trigger in your memory. Do this a few times and the associated thought becomes a trigger. Medication only blocks it during the life of the medication. CBT can block it forever.

Davit

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3

Thank you all for your reassurances and kind words.

I think part of the reason that I've jumped around with medications so much is because I was expecting there to be some kind of "magic pill" that would cure all my anxiety, with no additional effort on my part. When whatever medication I was on wasn't doing that, I'd try the next one in line. That's why I think I'm going to go back to Lexapro. Looking back, it kept my everyday anxiety down a bit more, and helped me manage the attacks better.

Yesterday was a small victory for me, as I successfully made the train, and arrived at my wife's grandmother's memorial service with little incident. I did take 0.5 mg of Xanax to help me fend off an attack, and that gave me just enough of an edge to be able to close my eyes, do a breathing exercise, and regain control. It's frustrating having to do that every few minutes, feeling like I'm teetering on the edge of losing control, but it definitely seems easier to calm myself down from the edge than it does to calm myself down once I'm in the middle of an attack. So there's that, I guess.

Ashley, you mentioned rewards; what kind of rewards do you have in mind? Treating myself to a steak dinner when I've hit a milestone? Buying those new boots I've been eying? Just curious to the scale of reward that I should set for myself.

As to how I will ensure I stay committed... the look on my children's faces when daddy is able to take them somewhere fun or do something fun with them will never stop being a big motivator for me. Additionally, knowing that I'm greatly easing the stress on my wife by actually being a second parent with her means a lot to me. Then there is the feeling that I'm just not so stressed and panicky anymore. I'd give just about anything to stop feeling like that.

kaitie,

The restroom thing is perhaps a bit of a misdirection at this point. I think that, at one point, it caused me to get anxious, but now I get more anxious about getting anxious. I start to get panicky about the thought that I might get anxious. It's a hard cycle to break.

As to why I'm anxious about not being near a restroom... I'm not really sure. I've never "had an accident," though I've been close before. I've always had kind of a touchy stomach, and sometimes the anxiety sets it off, and then I feel like I have to go to the bathroom. Other times, I feel like I have to go, and that feeling is either similar to the feeling of anxiety, or reminds me of being anxious... the two are tied together, and it's rather annoying.

For example, last Thanksgiving, I was at my brother's house, less than a mile from my own house. I've been there dozens of times, and it was just family; there was nothing at all that I'd be anxious about. But, being Thanksgiving, I ate a little more than I probably should have, and just felt stuffed. This feeling of discomfort reminded me of the feeling that I get when I'm anxious, and *bam* panic attack. I had to take a Xanax and wait almost two hours before I was able to drive (or be driven) the 5 minutes it took to get home.

One suggestion that has helped greatly with this is to take Dramamine if my stomach is feeling touchy. This seems to calm it down enough to not trigger any additional anxiety.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 177

Hi LucentPheonix,

I'm on 100mg of Zoloft, but I started on 50mg then to 75mg first. This dosage works for me because it reduces the severity of the physical anxiety symptoms to a stage where I can cope with having them there. Over time, hopefully the dose at which this happens will be lower, and eventually not at all, but I'm not there yet. During the process of increasing my medication, my psychiatrist would wait 4-6 weeks (the time it takes for an SSRI to reach its peak effectiveness) and if there was no improvement, she'd increase it again. Changing medications takes a lot of time and there are no guarantees.
Maybe talk to your psychiatrist about increasing the Zoloft before switching to another one? The maximum dose for Zoloft is 200mg so you're no where near that yet.

As for worrying about not having a restroom, would it help if you knew where they were? If you take your sons to watch a baseball game, you could casually ask someone where they are incase one of the boys needs to go? Another thing that might help is having a plan for if what you're afraid of were to happen, like having a fire evacuation plan or being prepared for if a storm were coming. This would help you feel more in control, and knowing that you can cope with the situation will make it a lot less scary.

That sense of despair is one of the biggest challenges for me too right now. I honestly can't see a future for myself without the anxiety.

Kaitie.

P.S. With the fear of not being near a restroom, I'm assuming you're worried about losing bladder control? Even after feeling of urgency (being 'busting' to go), your bladder can still hold for quite some time so it's not instantaneous and I'm sure you'll be okay.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11214

Welcome LucentPhoenix,

Thank you for telling us a bit about what you are going through. Ok, I want you to take a big, deep breath. Know that anxiety is one of the most common disorders out there and it is also one of the most manageable. In other words, if you get treatment it is very unlikely that you will be house bound for the rest of your life. Many members start the program in much worse shape then you and are now living their lives for the most part anxiety free (management is required of course). Get your medication in order and work on the program and you should see results very soon. This program requires a lot of homework and effort but if you put the effort in you will see results. Post often in the forums a well and you will be unstoppable.

Create a schedule for yourself regarding when you want to work on the program and put a rewards system in place. Rewards are fantastic behaviour change tools and I encourage you to celebrate even small successes.Accountability and commitment to the program is also important. How will you ensure you stay committed?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hi.

Welcome

I've been there. What a pain. And definitely Agoraphobia. I don't have the problem anymore. Read some of the posts on "have to" verses "want to" see if that fits you in the back of your mind. One thing I got out of it was that I know where every bathroom is for miles around.

Davit

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3

Hello everyone.

This is my first experience with a group setting, so forgive me if I break some common conventions.

A couple of years ago, as I tried to cut back on my excessive drinking, I was rewarded with periodic low-level anxiety. Mostly, it was due to being away from a restroom... I think this came from a few occasions where I was driving, and had to make an urgent stop somewhere to use the restroom. From there, I started to develop a phobia of being away from a restroom while out and about.

From what I understand, and have read, this is pretty textbook agoraphobia.

It's now gotten to the point where if I'm not going to/from work, I get varying levels of anxiety and/or panic, depending on how long of a drive it will be to get to the destination. Generally, I tend to be ok once I arrive at my destination, and on my way home from the destination. Lately, the "coming home" part has been triggering anxiety and panic, too, however.

One of the hardest things for me is that I have three kids, 8 months, two years, and five years old. The two oldest, my boys, want to go places (and my wife wants us all to go places together), and I have been unable to, just locking myself in my house on the weekends. This culminated on Saturday with missing a baseball game that I promised I'd take my son to :( My wife and mother-in-law ended up taking him instead, but it was heartbreaking for me. It's become clear that I need to step up my efforts to beat this thing. Today, I have to board a train after work to travel 45 minutes away (because I don't want to drive) for my wife's grandmother's memorial service. I cannot miss this; I would be letting down my wife in such a huge way...

So here I am, doing whatever I can on my own (ie: without drugs) to fix this. I am seeing a psychiatrist, trying to figure out what the heck to take that will work. Currently, I'm on 50 mg of Zoloft, but it doesn't seem to be working for me. I have an appointment on Wednesday to see what we can do. I've been on Paxil (NEVER AGAIN), Effexor, Lexapro, and now Zoloft. I also have Xanax for emergencies, but lately, everything seems like an emergency. However, I am well aware of the potential for addiction/abuse with Xanax, so I really try to limit my use of it. I think I will talk to him about going on Celexa, or going back to Lexapro (on a higher dose), and seeing what helps.

I'm starting to feel a sense of despair, thinking about being like this for the rest of my life. I absolutely cannot live like this any longer.

Anyway, hello to you all. I'm going to start reading through the sessions, as well as going through my Anxiety and Phobia Workbook that I have, and hopefully, things will start to turn around...

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Sick and tired of panicking