Now take it one more step. How much of other peoples anxiety do you absorb when you find what they are doing is annoying? Is it the fact that you do it too and hate it that causes the anxiety? Or is it as so many triggers are it is just because it is foreign?
Ever go home from a group or a date and wonder why you are so agitated? is it because you were not you so you could fit in? It isn't worth it.
Davit.
Ashley, People should say what they want to say, not what they think I want to hear. I have thick skin.
Simplicity is important, but how does that differ from acquiring taste or maturing? As I become a better cook, I want to try more, and there's a difference when one becomes more refined. How is that different from overcomplicating life?
You're right Shari. People mimic eachothers body lanuguage and speech patterns if they like eachother or feel comfortable with eachother. It's neat to watch people do this sometimes - they never realize they are doing it. But in this case I don't think people would do things they normally wouldn't as Davit is saying.
I've heard of this; it's like assimilation. It's a natural thing to do; regardless of the annoying factor :-) Mimicking people's mannerisms makes the other person comfortable and makes you part of their group. I think, it is for the most part, a subconscious habit which dates back to the caveman days where you needed to fit in and belong to a group for survival. I could be wrong, but I read an article about it. It was interesting.
I was told that our pet peeves are the reverse of what we value. For instance, if it really annoys you when someone is rude to their waitress then perhaps you really value respect and kindness.
Davit, perhaps you value authenticity and straightforwardness - that sounds right to me
Hugs, perhaps you value simplicity and your value of not wasting much be interfering with that value a bit.
What annoys me is called Parroting. It is when you say or do things you would not normally do because those around you are doing them. It is worse when they tell you not to do what they are doing. A cause for second hand anxiety.
"Some days it is better to keep my mouth shut and be thought an idiot than to open it and prove it."
It is ironic that what bugs us most about other people is the exact same thing we do. Since we don't want to be mad at ourselves we are irritated by others. My daughter gets extreme joy in me making a comment about someone at the store, for example, and she always chimes in, "You do the exact same thing!" And, then she laughs and then I laugh too. I had another point, but "the hamster at the wheel fell asleep", a.k.a. "the train derailed". Can't think of it, but will post here again, if I remember it.
Shari P.S. That's what I get for switching to decaf and being caffeine free - ha ha. Not as alert in the mornings :-)
My old psychologist used to say "the qualities that annoy us the most in others are our worst qualities." So yes, I would even go as far as to say everyone feels that way!
It's like when someone says to two people who are squabbling over something silly, "You two are as bad as each other!"
Sometimes I collect useless things, like those clips on the end of bread loaves. I caught myself doing it recently, as I had to discard them. The last one is useful if the bread has some defect.
I noticed a sibling bring pens, and my apple cart was overturned, since I'm trying to continue to spring clean,and it's extra irritating.
I've heard ex-smokers have the same problem with others who continue to smoke.
I wonder if others get similarly irritated with other's behaviours, which are just their own, in another person?
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