It's a good morning, sigh!

[font=Arial]Text[/font][color=Maroon]Text[/color] I haven't taken the time to introduce myself - all I have been doing since March 13, 2007 has been to not smoke. I woke up on the 13th with what I thought was either pnemonia or really severe bronchitis. I'd been telling myself I had a cold and I could handle it myself - but that morning I knew I was in trouble. So I fed the fish, cat, and dog - called my best friend and asked her to meet me at the ER. Everything is hazy about that day. I got to the ER and was standing in line when Ahna came. She took one look and took my cards and told me to sit down. Then someone from back in the treatment came out, took one look at me and had me come with her immediately. Ahna checked me in while the nurse went for a doctor. I had no breath sounds at all! After a few breathing treatments and oxygen, they were able to hear a wheeze and were thrilled! That's the first time I ever heard a doctor happy about someone wheezing! I spent four days in critical care on telemetry. I had bookoos of tests because they were afraid my heart had been damaged by the lack of oxygen. I always said I'd quit only when someone locked me up - and, uh, they locked me up! With the machines hooked up to monitor my heart I couldn't leave without setting off the alarms! So here I am - I know the score - I've tried before (usually for some non-smoker that I was dating) for three months, then three months - several times of 7 days, four days - but I've never felt it like I do now. Somehow when you are laying in the dark listening to the machines on you and hearing others on that ward coughing their lungs out, or worse - I watched them take someone out at 2 one morning - with a sheet covering him. So that's how I got here today - and I realize that now's the time to reach out. I don't have to be tough anymore - we don't get report cards here - no one will judge me here. If they do then it's their problem, not mine. I downloaded Silk Quit meter because I can't get the one on site to work - several things I'm having trouble with. But I haven't smoked a cigarette since 3/13/2007! That is huge. I had given up on quitting because I get really crazy - like what we see on TV as a heroin addict. No joke - just like that. Gotta go now just wanted to let you know

It's a good morning, sigh!

Thank you all for your support and welcome. It's been my experience that one person alone can think up some pretty strange reasons for a horrid and fatal descision to smoke, drink, whatever. Smoking is the hardest and I wouldn't think of trying to do this alone. I need you and hopefully you need me. Everytime you reach out there is one hand in another's and one hand with one's higher power. So now I'm gonna go read and reach out my hand to others. Much love and a hand outstretched, Joyce

New guy

Hey Bear - I saw the quote from the poem Invictus - once I quoted to someone - My head is bloody but unbowed. This person looked at me and said -Duck! What a concept - I can duck the pain by letting go?? Not something I do easily. I have 4 weeks and 10 hours without a cigarette after smoking for 38 years and most of the time 3 packs a day. I, too, thought my health was good until I ended up in the ER with no breath sounds at all. Then four more days in critical care on telemetry to see if there had been damage to my heart from being cut off from oxygen for a while. I watched people struggle far more than me - on respirators, oxygen, coughing so badly every step, even dying. Each day was a nightmare - but one I badly needed. Now I know the damage I inflicted on myself and have truly quit, I pray - for me - alot more reasons, living with a non-smoking son, smelling "the smell" all the time, and justifying every puff I took. I do disagree about being strong in a way. I think about being smart - want a smoke, go for a walk, call someone even a hotline for smoking quitters, and mostly hold on to a group who are trying to do the same as you. Even unknown people on the Internet. When I am weak, someone else can be my strength until I am calm enough once again to go on. I can try to be a help to someone else not on the same journey. Ok, I'll hush now and not make this a book, smile. A hand to hold and somewhere to duck!! Joyce [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/13/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 28 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,427 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $126 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 57 [B]Seconds:[/B] 29

still here

Hey, Kayla. I've read you on here and am rooting for you, too. Glad you made the casino! About the boyfriend? I guess I'm cruel - but kick him to the curb! Boyfriends come and boyfriends go - but your life does not! Once is all we get. I try to remember that every cigarette is a bullet and I am not bulletproof! Who knew? One day at a time! Joyce

New and on Third Day

Welcome, Donna. I agree that your 5 year quit puts you in a unique position to receive support and to offer your experiences. So glad you are here! Blessings, Joyce

not easy but makeable

We are proud of you, Pinkie! Each moment is our own special miracle. I made it just over 4 weeks and don't know quite how - except steadfastly focusing on only today - not forever. I am tough and can do anything - for only a day, smile. Forever - sheesh! Your baby is an excellent motivation - there is no bad reason to quit. Grab on to anyreason and every reason! Blessings, Joyce

4 1/2 days to go

Kevin, I have been smoke-free for 4 weeks and 11 hours and I was thinking where has the time gone? I,too, read for awhile before I posted - until yesterday in fact. I know I could never do this alone. I smoked for 38 years mostly 3 packs a day. I too have used every method in the book to quit. I had 3 months twice and 4 days once. I HAVE crawled into a trash dumpster to get out my cigarettes and ashtrays. That was the morning after hypnosis, sigh. This time I ended up in critical care telemetry with my breathing shut down completely. This time those four days I listened to people cough their guts out, and one in the room next to mine die. From smoking. And I thought I was so tough and smoking wouln't dare get me. Even survived cancer in 1999! But nicotine is more addictive than anything else on Earth. So hold on, the ride is terrific and terrible at the same time some days, smile. Blessings, Joyce