oh the fighting going on between my mind and body.
THIS is a bad bad day
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/6/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 14
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 290
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $63
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 44 [B]Seconds:[/B] 56
I have not touched a smoke, so that is the good news.
The bad is that I am very very irritable; trying to keep the fuse to not burn down for me to snap and it is taking all my willpower to handle THAT one.
Then there was this weekend. I play online games to relax me (I know, some people get pleasure out of that), and I felt this "missing" feeling. There was something missing, something I was not doing, did not do. Bugged the hell out of me most of the day when it hit me like a ton of bricks. Smoking, I was missing doing the smoking thing. It was like; "OMG" realization that my mind was messing with me THAT much that i actually MISSED it. I know it is all part of the process and it will take up to 21 days from day of quit to get a new habit down to not "miss" the smoke.
But the irritability, the nervousness, the muscle twitching (tremors) are still around, like my body is still trying to heal itself from all the poison I have done over the years.
If you look at my days it is good, but I feel like I am still in hell week with the physical problems (it may be just all mental transforming itself into physical form)
Well just wanted to give ya'll an update, I am totally bugging now (but NOT wanting a smoke, that is the only good thing, NO cravings for me today).
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/6/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 14
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 289
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $63
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 36 [B]Seconds:[/B] 37
Darcy,
I know that it can seem like a failure, but it is not the end. Just pick up the pieces, and start again.
Things are not always straight forward. You can read all websites, articles, etc on the stop smoking, do all the takes required, but in the end it is you that does the deed and sometimes the deed is too much.
As one thing that was said, you fall to learn how to pick yourself back up.
The good thing is, you have many hands to help you get back on your feet right here on this site.
I found a pack of smokes the other day that I thought all of them were gone. It was in my desk drawer and I came so close to saying the hell with it and lighting up.
But in my mind I knew that would be the biggest mistake, so I put them under the water and soaked them, and in the trash they went.
Some people are strong, some are not as strong but in the end, we ALL can do things that we thought were impossible.
IT is ok, slips happen, it is what you do afterwards that defines this action you are trying to do.
Get back on your feet, talk to us, and realize, these things happen.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/6/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 9
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 188
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $40.5
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 38 [B]Seconds:[/B] 44
I had some bad days.....
I had some good days.....
I had some days that I thought I would never make it to the next minute.....
But I knew I had all of you....
I am on auto-pilot now.....the physical detox is done....I can feel it...it is gone.
My mental is strong; I can deal with the little craving pushes here and there now.
I have beaten the demon and won....I declare now I am officially [size=5]FREE[/size]!!!!!!!!!
Starting on Saturday I will be in the Gym in my apartment complex (now that I can actually BREATH when I am doing the exercises) to loose this gut and slim myself back to a normal look for my size.
I know I will have down times, I know I will have cravings and temptations, but in the end I know that I have BEATEN this and I am home free.
Thank you all for your help and I will be on here trying to help others, to repay what you all have done for me
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/6/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 9
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 190
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $40.5
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 53 [B]Seconds:[/B] 37
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