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Posts created by TigerT

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 23

New member - is this normal?

Hi,

I was diagnosed with depression a few weeks ago and have been on Efexor.

I've gone from being "numb"/"empty", like there was not a single thought in my head and I was unable to concentrate enough to read (a passion of mine). I woke up today and felt like I was "back" and alive again, but kept on having moments of vitriolic thoughts running through my head.

Is this normal? Does this mean the antidepressants are working and I'm getting better?

Also: I've been trying to do things to help and make myself feel better, my doc told me to take care of myself. But exercise (another love of mine) hasn't been working, I barely have enough energy to walk around the block. I've been burning oils and that has kind-of helped. What does everyone else do?

Thanks.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 23

New member - is this normal?

Thank you for your replies.

It's funny I haven't known what to say other than thank you, and that it is nice to know there are people out there that appear to have similar thoughts and experiences to me. I've been reading your replies a couple of times a week and while not knowing what to say in return, I have felt much less alone, and a little bit stronger.

TigerT

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 23

New member - is this normal?

Goofy, I wish I could run over and give you a big hug. Thank you.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 23

Introduction (venting, very negative.... dont read!)

Hi all,

I've been lurking around for a while now, but I am only now working on the program in earnest. I skimmed through much of the program and the section on core beliefs really hit home. I think it is pretty hard to feel good about oneself in spite of any external positive and good experiences if there is a constant and underlying negativity.

The question is how to fight this and change my own core beliefs. (I guess I'll let you know in a few months time!)

I've been suffering from depression and anxiety on and off since I've been 15, but only sought "help" about 6 months ago. Ironically I never said or did anything before then because I thought that everything was due to the fact that I was an unmotivated, boring, stupid, lazy, bad and generally horrible and mean failure of a person. And I guess this is what I am still struggling with.

Things have been getting better though. I now have my brain and body back, after being lost in the aether for the last 6 months. Most probably due to the efexor. I can read and exercise and even carry on a conversation and pretend to be a normal and happy person.

But.... well...... it doesn't really change the fact that I am a boring, stupid massive failure. I'm not a real person, just an empty body that runs around trying to pretend to be a person who enjoys this shi*. I've never succeeded at anything, I can never let go and enjoy anything and I am struggling in seeing the point of continuing with a life that I don't enjoy, I have to lie and pretend to get through each day. I can never have a close relationship because I could never keep up the pretence of being happy or opening up to another person.

And re-reading the above. That is probably a very good decision. So sorry to anyone who reads this, but I really needed to let this out.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 23

Hospital

Hi all,

Well, I've had a few very bad weeks. Until last week I had not told my parents or friends what had been happening to me. I went to see my GP and he sent me straight to the ER which I stayed in for a few evenings, until a bed was found for me in a mental health unit. The problem is that the whole experience was so terrifying and overwhelming that I left the MHU after one night. On the other hand one positive aspect is that two of my good friends now know and are being very supportive and they told my parents who are also trying to be supportive and are happy to have me stay for a few weeks.

I told my GP how I was feeling (last week I didn't plan on being here today) and I think he is loath to help me alone. I'm trying to get psychiatrist and psychologist appointments at the moment and things are very slow. Community mental health can't get me one till the 22nd and I'm trying to get a private appointment but I don't know if that will be any quicker.

To cap things off I live in a different city to my parents (~4 hours away and a different state) and I have two jobs and dont want to take too much time off, but nor do I think living by myself is a good idea at the moment.

Has anyone ever been in hosptial? I know treatment will be quicker, but they are pretty horrible places. Was it worth it to deal with the unpleasentness to get good/fast treatment?

My time in the ER wasn't too bad, kept me safe for a few nights, but no administration of care. But at least I know it's an option if I need it, but it wont help me in the long term.

I really dont know what to do right now and I know that transfer of care, (particularly as different states have different health care systems) is going to be hard and I may need to start the whole process all over again if/when I decide to move back home.

Any ideas or suggestions?

I'm starting to think I should have stayed in hospital. Gosh I wish I had private health insurance.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 23

Group Discussion on Session 1

Hi cvdeb,

I too find that I feel worst in the morning. I've read somewhere that different people and different forms of depression have different symptom profiles and that some people feel much worse in the morning, rather than the middle or end of the day. It is called diurnal variation.

I find a walk in the morning really helps me. Wakes me up, helps me clear my head and to try and build an appetite. Meditation and uplifting music also help me too. I try to wake up a little earlier so I can do these things, which in reflection are self care and de-stressing activities. I also like that the rest of the world is still asleep, as are my flat mates and I have this little block of time, all to myself.

Also don't worry about "keeping up" or "being on the same track" as others. The most important thing is that you are here and doing something. Each little bit helps.

TigerT

And boy session 1 is a LOT of work! *grumble*

:-)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 23

Do SSRI Antidepressants Stop Working?

Hi,

I've been on Venlafaxine since late November. I started on 37.5 and moved up to 150 in the first month, stayed there until Feb when I was very quickly bumped up to 300.

Frankly my experience has been FANTASTIC! (hands up who is feeling great these days :-) )

Personally (remembering that everyone is different!) it only helped a little until I hit 300 and then WOW!, within a week I was feeling so very much better.

With regards to side effects, I've had a few, generally when I have increased doses and they have only lasted a few days (headaches, yawning etc). My only big problem has been a bit of "gastrointestinal slowing" but I have found my increased appetite and taking a bucket load of fibre and some docusate has helped a lot.

I've read a lot about the withdrawal, but I suppose I won't know until I go off the drug. My GP has suggested a very long and slow decrease in a year or so, and personally at this stage either a bad withdrawal or a life on Venlafaxine is a lot better then experiencing depression again.

Good luck with the switch over, I hope you feel better soon.

And I hope that if you do get any side effects they don't last long.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 23

Time for a Break?

Deb,

That "fun plan" sounds like a great idea, and it'll give me something fun and productive to obsess over when my mind is wondering at work!

I often go for coffee runs for my team so I can get out in the sunshine for a few minutes.

I'm also allowed to listen to my ipod which means I can listen to relaxing music when I'm stressed and upbeat music when I'm tired.

And.... if I'm really not feeling the best, I run up and down the fire stairs a few times.

Which reminds me..... that whole box breathing thing. I've realised that when ever I'm anxious I go for a run to deal with it. But that is not always practicable and is quite literally 'running away' from my problems. Any hints for how to do this properly? I find I cant turn of my mind when I'm anxious and trying to stop and breathe means that my mind has nothing else to occupy it and just runs wild.

Also, I often wonder if a lot of people continue to smoke as this allows them an opportunity to get up from the desk, go outside and take a break every few hours?

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 23

TCA (amitriptyline)

Hi,

just wondering has anyone been on a TCA, and in particular amitriptyline?

What were your experiences? (sleep and weight gain???

Thanks,

TigerT

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 23

What makes you smile?

Umm... things that have made me smile in the last week:

- Sunshine (thankfully I live in Australia so we get a lot of this all year round! :-) )

- Mucking around at work and being silly with my work mates

- Clean sheets

- Having a meal with my family

- Friendly bus drivers (usually the first person I speak to of a morning and never fails to bring a smile to my face)

- Reading, and a little bit of alone, "me time"

- Achieving a few steps of each of my goals

- Having some fantastic hits at volleyball training

Not quite 10, but a pretty good week nonetheless.

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