Hiya!
Hello Everyone!
Wow... it's hard to believe that my panic/anxiety issues started back in 2005. When I finally got help to understand this frightening terror we all go through, I got on a mentality that I would be fine. No further help needed. Imagine MY surprise when I realize that my dependence on clonazepam to control my symptoms was being called into question by several different physicians! I did some research. Yikes.. there's a possibility that constant use of Benzodiazapemes is linked to dementia!! OK.. before any of you using these medications freaks out and has a panic attack (my first in 10 years) about what I just told you, it is ok to be taking these medications with a physician's guidance. Just be certain that you understand that lengthy, daily use (I'm currently take 1mg, 2x a day) is what causes real problems, especially if you've been taking them for a very long time! 10 years in my case. I decided to look into coming off this drug. Well..... it takes a long time, sometimes a year or more to wean off it. The more I thought about what I was like before clonazepam, the more I was freaking out about giving it up. My panic attacks were extreme, I had physical symptoms I can't describe, I would wake up in the middle of a panic attack and started losing weight, pacing constantly, crying, running, calling physicians, becoming depersonalized or experiencing derealization, thinking I should just give up my children to their father and enter a mental home. I won't go into my whole story right now. I DID try CBT. I also tried EMDR. However, neither therapy released me from the drug, I couldn't quit clonazepam, because I still could not quit panicking. 10 years later I am discussing this with a therapist, and she basically said, "Maybe you can do it this time. In fact, you probably WILL learn how to not panic. Physicians now understand that it takes a LOT longer time to wean down on certain medications and you could do this!" So.... I'm here. I am taking notes. I am sharing this site with my therapist, and I am planning to quit clonazepam. However, we have a slight glitch. One of my children is going into her last year of high school. I REALLY need to be there for her. So this is what my therapist recommended: CBT right now, and start coming off clonazepam a year from now. My intent is to get a grip on that anxiety to that is always under the surface, through CBT, so that when the clonazepam is being diminished, I will already have coping skills in place. And.... if I have to.... I will go through CBT again when I am weaning off the clonazepam, if I feel that I need it. The great news is.... I am hearing so many stories of people defeating panic with CBT, I am READY to rid of it FOR GOOD!! At 49 years old, it would be amazing to envision my world without panic attacks and anxiety attacks! I am very hopeful and very thankful for this free site!! Whoever pulled this site together, God bless you from the depths of my soul!!!!!
If you've read this far, thank you! It's a lot to read. I'm looking forward to going on a journey with some of you, and I hope you feel positive energy coming off of me. I'm not always positive, but I'm going to keep projecting positive energy until I forget how to be negative.
Excited to be here! Happy to know that people care enough to follow up!!
Best wishes to everyone on this journey,
in1peace