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12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 56

Existential Anxiety

Thanks everyone.

I had a nice time today with my family (celebrating father's day) but once it started getting later I started getting all these thoughts again (about me dying, about my parents dying, etc). It's like I can't stop torturing myself with them and it makes me sick.

I get especially bad after I get back to my home (about 1.5 hours away from where my family lives) and I cry (I never used to cry about things like this). I miss them even though I see them most weekends.

Sometimes when I'm feeling okay I am more comfortable with the idea of death and it doesn't bother me, but sometimes these thoughts keep me in a state of fear and depression. It's been over a week now that this has been the problem for me.

I had a period of time after my panic attacks stopped and I was recovering where I felt pretty much back to normal, but now instead of panic attacks I'm having these thoughts that are sucking all the enjoyment out of everything.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 56

Existential Anxiety

Davit,

I do fear what comes after. I'm not religious so I'm terrified about it being the end of the road for me. I believe that religion is a comfort for many and I actually envy that, but it's not an option for me and I won't go into detail here either.

What you say about fearing loss is also true. I fear losing my loved ones. I'm filled with a lot of fear and I don't know if it's because I'm depressed or if I'm depressed because of the fear.

I'm being hard on myself tonight too. I'm thinking too much about how I used to be and wanting to be that person again and I know those are negative thoughts that I need to challenge.

Thank you for responding to my post.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 56

Existential Anxiety

Thanks Sunny. That really does help. I too worry about my parents dying and my dad in particular, and I have thoughts of how this might happen and how I'll feel and it makes me feel terrible. But you say you didn't have the thoughts you thought you would and I have no way of knowing how I will feel when that happens either. The same with my thoughts about being on my death-bed and how I will feel; I can't really know that.

Your post made me a little teary but I feel a little bit better too.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 56

Existential Anxiety

~m,

Thanks for sharing your story. I have to realize, like you have, that the worrying isn't going to change anything. When I'm worrying about death I'm not enjoying life. I understand this on an intellectual level, but my emotions haven't caught up yet.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 56

Existential Anxiety

Juanita,

Thanks for your response. I am starting to think that this fear is stemming from my anxiety disorder. I had panic attacks before which I got over (I haven't had any for awhile, at least) but maybe this is the new form it is taking. I tell myself that when I start to feel better it won't be as bad.

I've also seen statistics that show people actually have LESS fear of death as they get older. This comforts me as well.

-Ashley

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 56

Panic leads to all the other stuff

Hi David,

I don't have much advice, just wanted to comment because I go through a lot of the same things. I've become really good at identifying thoughts that cause me anxiety and depression, but challenging them is much more difficult for me.

Even if it's inconvenient to get there, it would probably help to see your therapist. Mine has helped me more than I thought was possible.

Hope you feel better.

-Ashley

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 56

Major setback for me

I was doing so well. I hadn't had any panic attacks for almost a year (after going through a period of heavy panic and depression), just general anxiety here and there.

But last night I woke up abruptly at 1:30am and had a panic attack. The usual, just felt really weird like something was horribly wrong and really hot and lightheaded. Afterwards felt cold, shaky, chills, and digestive distress all night. Went to the ER because I was so scared, it had been so long. They didn't find anything.

Was able to sleep after I got back and had an okay day today but now I am feeling anxious again. Hot and an upset stomach and just feeling like something isn't right.

I have no idea why this is happening all of a sudden. Everything seems fine in my life right now. I made a lot of changes when I was suffering before that really helped me. I see a therapist, although I am down to once a month now and might have to bump that back up.

I'm just really upset that this is happening again after all this time but I don't want to psych myself out. I'm hoping it's just a little stumble.

I have a prescription for Ativan but I'm scared to take it.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 56

Major setback for me

Thanks for your replies.

I wanted to let you guys know that I was scared at first but I'm feeling a lot more confident now. I didn't get sucked back into the cycle (as I feared I would).

I think this may actually be a good experience for me to realize that I can have a panic attack once in awhile because something is bothering me but that doesn't have to mean that I'm a complete mess again.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 56

second guessing myself

I'm fairly certain that some of my anxiety and depression is related to my hormones.

I can't offer you much more than that, just know that it's not unusual. Knowing that I will feel better in a couple days helps.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 56

Middle of the night panic

Does anyone else wake up in the middle of the night in a panic attack? This is the second time now in 2 weeks and I don't get them during the day anymore. I wake up after falling asleep, start having a panic attack and can't calm myself down. It's scary and it really makes me wonder if there's something wrong with me which is why I went to the ER the first time this happened the other day.

I used to get panic at night when I was having bad panic attacks almost a year ago but I'm in a better place now, or so I thought. I'm still trying to calm down from this latest incident. This time I decided to get out of bed instead of trying to stay in bed through it. I'll see if that works better =(.

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