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Panic leads to all the other stuff

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

Davit,

That's very possible. I do remember her talking about me writing, and at the time I thought maybe she just meant it as something for me just to sell. But she's a very smart woman. I am trying to find where I had the notes where I was writing. I might have it saved on a disc. I've got nearly 45 years I can write about. I've read many books. I'd love to finish writing one.

Ashley,

Thanks again for your input. I remember your post from last month about similar thoughts you had. The mortality thought recoccurance seems to pop up when I am vulnerable where anxiety and OCD are concerned.

By the way, I love the picture of your birds.

David

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Wrestler

Do you think it is possible your therapist wanted you to write a book so you could get it out in the open and deal with it instead of keeping it in the background where it can keep resurfacing?

Experence has shown me that keeping something damped down is a lot harder to do than letting it happen and fade.

Avoidance will not cure it even if it does give you some relief.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 56

Hi David,

I don't have much advice, just wanted to comment because I go through a lot of the same things. I've become really good at identifying thoughts that cause me anxiety and depression, but challenging them is much more difficult for me.

Even if it's inconvenient to get there, it would probably help to see your therapist. Mine has helped me more than I thought was possible.

Hope you feel better.

-Ashley

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

I've often written down things and I also know so much of what I worry about it silliness. I also do exercise regularly. Just finished up freestyle yoga about 3 hours ago. My back has been hampering my workouts lately. It has halted my usual weight workouts. Have to take it easy for a bit. While on vacation, I had the worst relapse of back pain in 2 years. Lower back pain is an awful feeling. Couple that with the bed we slept on during our trip to Key West and I think it got worse. I also know the drive down did not help my back. Eight hours in a car. LOL.

I do know the reality of it being Sunday is feeing my anxiety and that Monday night, when I get home, I will wonder what all the fuss was about. Sometimes I just hate work - except for payday.

I know the thoughts of my own mortality has bothered me since I was a child, and that is often what most of my panic is about or that it follows some anxiety I have, because of the opening anxiety creates to think about gloom and doom. I don't want to think about - I just do. I can keep it in the background most of time time, but sometimes it just takes time to get it back to the background.

On the subject of writing or using a journal, my therapist once told me I should write a book about my experiences. I started it several years ago, but stopped it once something else took priority. I also was afraid to write about many thoughts, back then, for fear of them becoming a problem, again.

Thanks for the response. It was helpful.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Hi Wrestler,

Thanks for sharing, glad to hear that writing here is helpful! You are right, you definitely CAN get past this!!

Getting an appointment with your Therapist sounds like a great idea, especially since, as you said, some things seem to be 'hanging on' - it's always good to use all the resources we have available to us. I wonder, since the 'venting' here has helped, have you tried journaling? Or stream-of-consciousness writing where you just write down any and all thoughts you may have, without worrying about grammer or sentence structure or anything, just let it flow - then you could follow up on these thoughts by challenging them. eg. are they true? can you know 100% for sure they are true? or 100% for sure that 'this' will happen? etc.

Is there anything you could think of that you could do which might ease some stress or anxiety now regarding having these new pets to care for, and starting back to work after vacation? Goodluck getting back into it, stay positive and feel free to write and let us know how it's going- any time!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

I know I have made a few posts about my situation with panic, anxiety, OCD and depression since I joined, but lately it's been all of them.

I know I often get Seasonal Affective Disorder, and I always look forward to spring and then summer, when it's going to subside. But this summer the disorder seems to be really hanging on. I started having trouble going into large stores like Whole Foods and Publix Super Market here in Florida, for fear that I'd be stuck and panic in front of everyone and also suffer the after effects like depression, more anxiety, increased OCD and dissociation/derealization.

That's pretty much where I sit now after a few months of on again feeling good and off again feeling bad, as the cycle goes. Of course, with these types of things, I get the confusion and short term memory problems.

What I find this time is that several types of thoughts are causing my panic. Anything from worries of real dangers of the world, fear of mortality (a major source of much of my anxiety throughout my life), and also stupid thoughts.

But I am venting here, and it actually feels good. I have tried to schedule an appointment with my therapist. I have not been able to get over her way for a while now (It's almost an hour away). And then, each time I email to want to schedule an appointment, I start to feel better.

Much of what is bothering me now is that my vacation is ending. I go back to work tomorrow. We went to Key West for nearly 3 days. We also have some pet issues. We've been taking care of my in-law's bird, our ill guinea pig and now the vet gave us a turtle to nurture back to health. It's only a hatchling. Someone brought it to the vet injured. It was found in the wild. Can't get it to eat. But we are optimistic about it.

Anyway, I know I can get past this. Just takes positive thinking and no panic.

OK, thanks for listening. I am gonna go.

David

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Panic leads to all the other stuff