Hi Ashepp: I don't know if this will help or not. I used to worry about death too. I think when we aren't feeling that great, feeling vulnerable, we think about these things more. I used to especially worry about how I would be able to cope when my Dad died. Well, eventually, he did and I did not have the feelings I thought I would have at all! Though there are times I miss him especially when I'd like to ask him something, I often feel his presence and he is still here with the family. Hard to describe that feeling, but it is quite real and very pleasant. We think once they die that they are gone forever but we forget the most important part of their life and that is their spirit. It lives on through us and it can be felt very strongly. This has been my experience. Hope it helps.
I do fear what comes after. I'm not religious so I'm terrified about it being the end of the road for me. I believe that religion is a comfort for many and I actually envy that, but it's not an option for me and I won't go into detail here either.
What you say about fearing loss is also true. I fear losing my loved ones. I'm filled with a lot of fear and I don't know if it's because I'm depressed or if I'm depressed because of the fear.
I'm being hard on myself tonight too. I'm thinking too much about how I used to be and wanting to be that person again and I know those are negative thoughts that I need to challenge.
I've put off asking this. But since death removes all pain and often in the elderly or those in a lot of pain it is welcomed and as you are neither you should not have this fear. I'm wondering if it is not dying you fear but what comes after. If there is nothing, if death is the end of all existance then do you actually fear never seeing your parents again, is this why you fear them dying. Is it loss you fear actually and not death itself. I won't get into religion here but it is a great comforter for those that believe in a life after. I don't know what you can do about this fear other than to say it is unrealistic. Barring some misfortune you should have a long time before you have to ever think about it. You should be able to enjoy life as it is and not be thinking about dying. This is different than thinking you are dying during a panic attack.
Death comes to all of us at some time. We need to enjoy our time here because we do not really know if there is a time after. I hope so but I'm not sure so I want to enjoy the time I have been given. I wish I could think of something to say, some great words of wisdom but I can't. I would like to know what you think you can do or should do to relieve this obsesion. I'd like to know what the other members do when they think thus, and I'm sure we all do at some time.
I had a nice time today with my family (celebrating father's day) but once it started getting later I started getting all these thoughts again (about me dying, about my parents dying, etc). It's like I can't stop torturing myself with them and it makes me sick.
I get especially bad after I get back to my home (about 1.5 hours away from where my family lives) and I cry (I never used to cry about things like this). I miss them even though I see them most weekends.
Sometimes when I'm feeling okay I am more comfortable with the idea of death and it doesn't bother me, but sometimes these thoughts keep me in a state of fear and depression. It's been over a week now that this has been the problem for me.
I had a period of time after my panic attacks stopped and I was recovering where I felt pretty much back to normal, but now instead of panic attacks I'm having these thoughts that are sucking all the enjoyment out of everything.
Hello ashepp3. I understand what you are saying. About 6 months ago I felt the same way as you, having many questions about life, the reason of our existence, and our place in the universe. Now I only think of these issues from time to time and I recognize that they were associated with my depression. In my experience, if we take care of ourselves, we will get better with time and do not give to much importance to this thoughts, because not all the questions have an answer.
Hi: About change, I like change, especially if it is the right kind of change. Don't be afraid of change, lots of exciting things out there to discover. Who wants to stagnate? not me, I want to do lots of interesting things and keep growing. I welcome some changes - (true some things I want to keep too). But I always look toward the sun and let it shine on me.
-m: I like your paragraph about thoughts - about slamming the door on some and saying "no thank you". I'm going to use it - great visualization for me.
I'm right, I know I am. But be prepared for some bumps in the road. Given enough stress or a crisis even the recently cured can have panic attacks reoccur but know that they are mild and go quick. They just are a nuisance. Just a bump in the road and far better than what used to be. In my case years of panic attacks every night. Now that was terror.
For the most part I find anxiety shows up as sadness. That I can live with once in a while. Who knows you may be stronger than me. My sweetie is and that is an anchor for me.
Keep up the good work. I think you have the right attitude and are doing great.
Hugs... you sound resentful that you have no time for yourself. You sound resentful of the care you are giving... (you have not shared with us who or what that involves). You write as if life has already passed you by. You posted rather recently so I suspect you do have some life left in you. That's a good thing.
When it comes to resentment I have definitely been there, done that....resentment is such a negative, sucking, drain on our well being. It takes some work, but using the CBT tools... I am beginning to turn those negative thoughts around into something positive and life giving... What a difference it makes!
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That's a good thing.
