To Ophelia,
I have had panic for 19 yrs, however I have gotten beyond everything but being alone. It is possible.
I used to feel disassociated from myself. Yes, it's a very creepy feeling. Does your boyfriend help with this or does his presence make you feel more out of control? Just some food for thought. I used to feel like my mother was an alien or something when I was around her. I know it's because anxiety that goes on for a while can warp a person's perceptions of even the most familiar. I also found that, while my mother is nice, she is anxious herself so her presence set me off a little.
Panicky people turn inward to themselves. I found it helpful to look outside at the trees or immerse myself in something outside of myself like a project.
Depersonlization and derealization are not synonymous with insanity. I have been there and back. I have felt "far away" and not like "myself". I can relate. Hope this is helpful. I hope you can feel more grounded in the future.
To Weary:
I can lay awake in a daze for hours. There is one
thing that helps because I know there is too much
junk in my brain. I have a relaxtion tape. I may play
it 2X, but I can at least doze. It says, "You are in a
field, etc." It doesn't matter what it says, I listen to
the droning voice. It you listen to one thing you can't
be thinking something else. I don't suggest the
radio because you may pay too much attention to
the actual discussion. Get someting soothing and
boring. There are also tapes of hemasync music
which is supposed to be relaxing because it is
designed to go from ear to ear, side to side. TV
helps a lot of people. I know a lot of people lay on
top of the bed or on the couch if they have begun to
associate their bed with anxiety. Maybe a warm
bath before bed, read something boring and not
disturbing? But, I have had the most success with
tapes. Good luck.
Hello. I have responded to people but not left a
message myself. I just joined. When I was a child I
was in the hospital. Unlike today, workers were
totally unscreened, no background checks. I had
some pretty invasive things done, and I was left
alone. I was threatened by hospital staff. I was left
alone for tests. The machinery then was huge. For
years, I have suffered from phobias of things like
heaters, cooling units - similar in nature to the
X-ray machines etc.
I know because of the trauma of being alone and
being so panicky at a young age I now have
monophobia. I have dealt with driving on the
highway, driving at night, etc. The thing I can't do is
stay alone at night. I busy myself so I can sleep in
the day when I feel safe. If I try to get ready for bed
earlier I always end up feeling unreal, then
panicking, and I will call someone.
I feel like I am being swallowed up by a giant void
of emptiness, and I will be lost forever. I MUST see
someone or talk to someone. Does anyone else
suffer from the same fear?
I can practice other things in steps except for being
alone all night long. Roommates don't take care of
my things like I would like, and I don't want to be
out somewhere at night. I can sleep at my parents,
but it is an unhealthy environment for me.
I don't have family in town or know neighbors. I am
in an apt. building. It is eerily quiet. I only do well
when someone is there at night. My friends are
busy and have children.
Has anyone else been able to conquer a fear of
being alone, esp. at night when there is a feeling of
disconnection from the world? Any advice would be
appreciated.
Hello, Diana. Welcome. I first starting having panic
attacks when I was 20. At one time, a saw a
psychologist who works almost exclusively with
people with panic. He said it is very common to
start occurring when a person is thinking of leaving
home, growing up. My sister had a couple when
she was thinking of moving to NYC after college.
I am 39. I posted a message about monophobia. I
can do most everything without panic, except stay
alone at night, which might not be an issue for you.
I learned to do things that scared me through
systematice desensitization. If something is scary
the object is to practice it a little at a time when you
don't have to do it, for example driving, grocery
shopping. Only do something until you feel slightly
anxious and then leave. Build up the exposure over
time as your confidence builds. If you have friends
you can call, let them assist you.
Just tell someone what you are trying to
accomplish and let them share with you. I have
found most people to be understanding. Surround
yourself with positive people. If people don't have
respect for my feelings, I don't hang around them.
I, personally don't think panic comes from
nowhere. Even though some people are
predisposed to it, most people have fears that
trigger it. Try to identify what sets you off. And yes,
the old stanby, medication can help with the brain
chemistry.
Good luck. Keep your chin up.
I used to be terrified of driving. I' m okay now if the
ride is no longer than 30 min.
Here's what I did:
Go out and practice. Do not drive when you must
because there is added pressure. Drive until on a
scale of 1-10 your anxiety is a 3. Do not scare
yourself. Then, return home. Have a "safe" person
follow you if that helps. Have them gradually lag
further behind or meet them somewhere. Use a
cell phone if contact helps.
If the highway bothers you, only drive one exit. Get
off and relax. Return home. Go further distances in
a planned fashion. Know where there are places
off the highway that are safe and comfortable to
stop at. For some people, it is a secluded spot, for
me it was a place with people.
Try to stop focusing on your racing heart or other
symptoms. Look ahead and notice the trees,
houses, new buildings. Play the radio if noise
helps. Distract yourself.
Realize you can be uncomfortable for a short
period of time. Make it short. Again, do not go so far
that you scare yourself and can't return. Have a
backup person who knows you are "practicing" and
can come get you if it is becomes too much.
Congratulate yourself if you do well and give
yourself a break if you panic. It is okay to be afraid.
You are doing something new. Never berate
yourself.
a Nerida
Yo puedo entender espanol a nivel basico, si
quieres hablarme. Puedo bien leer y escribir en
espanol. Sera mas facil para ti, espero.
Buena suerte.
Est-ce qu'il y a de membres qui peuvent ecrire en
francais? Ce n'est pas ma langue maternelle,
mais j'ai peut-etre un "moi francais." Et, bien sur,
j'ai des attaques de panique, malheureusement.
Hi, Chantal,
I too speak French and left you a note to that effect,
but it was removed because we aren't supposed to
be writing in French. If you want to leave me a
message, I will give you my e-mail address so we
are not corresponding in French here.
Hope you are doing better.
You may want to talk to a gynocologist if you are
more anxious before your period. I found birth
control pills that have a consistent hormone level
to be very helpful, otherwise I am a wreck for about
10 days. The pill stops this. Also, there are
vitamins called, Optivite. They are for pre-menstral
tension, but doctors seem unaware of them. They
are loaded with vitamin B6. I take 2 per day. After a
few months, they may help. If I stop them I feel
awful again. Any pharmacy can order them. If it
bothers you to swallow medicine, perhaps you can
crush it up and put them in food or drink.
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