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Posts created by a77734

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 48

Social Anxiety......

Great insight Kez. A lot of us feel exactly the same as you've just described.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 48

One month sober!

Sober September almost complete!

Feels great to have a month free of alcohol. Both body and mind feel much much better and the wallet is a lot healthier, too!

This site and the community has played an important role in my continuing recovery. Thanks everyone.

Next goal 100 days!

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 48

One month sober!

Thanks!

Ashley, my reward is to buy a new pair of shoes for the gym/sport. Quite happy about that. Still thinking about the 100 day reward, but that's around my holiday period so I'll probably coincide that with a trip abroad and head to India/Sri Lanka for a few weeks R&R.

jakelad, here is what has got me through the month -

* allocating ten minutes per day to educating myself about alcohol addiction and/or reading the forums on this site.

* downloading a free app on my phone called Life - Daily Motivation (I think it might be Life - Daily Coaching on iPhone). Every day you 'check in' with your goals e.g. No Alcohol goal and Sober Study goal for me (among others). You can have your goals private or viewable to everyone. The No Alcohol goal has a community of others in the same situation and they are quite supportive. You can invite friends and family so they can comment and give congrats for your progress, too. I've found this very helpful as I find accountability for my actions a strong motivator. And it's great to 'check in' every night and see your progress. Good feeling to see "31 days in a row" yesterday. Looking forward to seeing "100 days in a row" soon.

* replaced drinking in the evenings with exercise. I think this is very important. Exercise has really helped my mood and energy levels and gives me something to do in the evenings other than drink. I've lost a few kilograms in one month already and my self esteem is improving.

* use daily affirmations when I come across triggers e.g. "I don't drink" or "Drinking is part of my past. I don't do that anymore."

* plan ahead for tricky situations e.g. being around people that are drinking and practice what I'll say to them. Also imagine the social anxiety that I'll likely feel and rehearse what I'll do to combat that.

* started doing a daily budget on Excel and it's great to see money starting to accumulate rather than wasting on alcohol.

* lastly, I've started to include 5 - 10 minutes of daily meditation to help with daily pressures.

Hope that helps.

Cheers

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 48

Weekend anxiety

I'm enjoying waking up on both Saturday and Sunday morning with my body/head feeling good and not feeling guilty about spending lots of money the previous night. Surprisingly, I don't find the weekends that much of a trigger for me. I guess I focus more on what I can get done now. Before if I'd had a big night, I'd be a mess the next day. I'm so much more productive now and I think this helps me a lot.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 48

Hard day

Well done for not drinking. That's a huge effort especially after tasting beer.

I think it's understandable after being around people drinking and being offered beers that urges would surface. It's a constant effort for us to resist these urges.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 48

Social Anxiety......

I've just had an old drinking buddy stay with me for a few nights and I definitely felt a bit of the anxiety mentioned in this thread. We went out to a few bars the first night then out with some more of my friends last night. It was interesting reading what everyone had written here last week and seeing it come into play (especially last night). I could feel myself wanting to have a drink to 'lighten up' at dinner and be more sociable. I wanted to to be talkative and 'impress' the girls with my conversation like I used to (in reality I'm not sure I actually 'impressed' girls with my drunken talk) instead of sitting there quietly eating my dinner with all sorts of anxious/self-defeating thoughts running around my head. I kept thinking it would be so easy just to have a few beers and have some fun with my friend and the two female friends we were with. I didn't. I knew what would happen if I did. We would have a few drinks and laugh and have fun then the others would want to head home and sleep and I'd still be drinking. I'd head into the city and find a bar and keep drinking.... and drinking... and wake up feeling like **** with no money.

In the end I managed to get through the first night at the bars with my friend unscathed - admittedly it was fairly boring, although I did find it amusing watching all the guys drinking and ogling at women and trying to pick up and reflecting how it wasn't so long ago I was exactly the same. I also got through dinner OK and ended up having a reasonably good time. It was actually quite good after dinner the four of us went for a walk and my female friend said, "you know, I like you better now you don't drink." That was good to hear.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 48

Alcohol or Smoking or Both

I've never smoked so I can't help you there, but I know stopping drinking caused some agitation and anxiety for me. With my limited experience I'd advise having an activity/hobby to replace your addictions. Exercise works for me. Find something that works for you. I've heard adding a positive to your life is easier than taking away a negative. Focus on a new activity (read distraction) and how that is having a positive impact on your new life.

Cheers

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 48

Knowing how the day will end

I know what you mean Nodrama. It's only been a month and already I'm seeing a future. Before all I saw was emptiness and uncertainty. For example, now I'm looking forward to starting a meaningful relationship with someone I can love. This is a big step. When I was drinking even though I liked the concept of having a stable relationship I was too caught up in myself to realistically have anything that resembled stable and it definitely wouldn't have been real love. That's just one example where I'm feeling excited about the future.

Re: what do I do? I do the same as Dave mentioned "I don't drink" etc. And I also try to see where the underlying emotion is coming from.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 48

getting started on my road to recovery

Welcome to the site. Happy Thanksgiving!

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 48

Honesty

Good for you.

It's good when we can openly communicate with people without feeling the need to have a drink during or after e.g. when feeling guilty or annoyed for something you said, sad/upset with something someone else has said. Personally, I'm not very good with criticism and this has led me to drink in the past. I'm trying to deal with it better these days and it's better being able to analyze with a clear head, even if that means the feelings are stronger.

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