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14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 29

Quitting on Sunday

Hello, everyone.

My name is Samuel. I'm currently 32 years old. I've been smoking since I was 16. I attempted to quit - and actually made it through Hell Week and Heck Week with the help of the people on this site - when I was 26. Unfortunately, I had a relapse because I let my guard down after those two weeks were over and it's now six years later, but it's never too late to try again.

Last time, I wore a patch for three days and went the rest of the way cold turkey. I think it makes sense to give myself a little bit of an advantage and so this time I'm taking Chantix. I'll be finished with the first week of it on Saturday and so I've set my quit date for this Sunday. I'd love to hear from anyone who has used this prescription before and if it has actually helped with the quitting process.

Regardless, I feel prepared for this. It's been a long time coming now. I don't feel like I did last time where I just had this enormous desire to be free from tobacco dependence. Now, I just sort of feel "over it." I'm not sure how else to describe it; I just feel like the time for smoking has passed. I want to have a good quality of life and I feel that smoking impedes me in many ways. It prevents me from enjoying life.

One of the things I love most is hiking and exploring the outdoors. There's a nature preserve close to me where I go hiking four to six miles at. I used to go there every day; I've always found time spent in nature is good for me. The demands of my life have increased greatly in the last few years and I've been spending far less time there. I've decided to make that my daily reward for being smoke-free. I've been telling myself too often that I don't have time for it, but in reality, I really do. I think it makes sense as a reward because it is something I genuinely enjoy and it promotes good health at the same time - hiking six miles every day will help my body rid itself of the toxins caused from smoking.

Although I'm originally from Michigan, I've lived in Kentucky for about four years now. There is a place here called the Natural Bridge. It's one of my favorite places to visit but it is not so close to me that I can go there every day, but I could go there on the weekends, so I've decided to make that my weekly reward. I'm sure for some hiking doesn't sound like much of a reward, it may sound more like punishment or discipline, but these are the things that put me in a good mood and help me to maintain a positive balance in my life. I think a lot about doing these things anyway, so making them rewards helps me to look at them from a different perspective.

I'm not really sure what I'll do a month from now, but after six months, I plan to take a trip, probably to Florida. I already do some traveling, but it's usually for business and I do not have the time for personal activities. I think I'll take a week just for myself and enjoy the sun and the beach.

And it will be just that much more fun when I can do it without smoking at all. So that's basically it. I just thought I would post and introduce myself. Thanks for reading.

-Samuel

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 29

Day Three - Thanks

Day 4! Yay!! (Last night I was having evil smoking thoughts!)

Hi Rusty. I remember you too. :-) There are a few people I've wondered if were still around here or not; maybe they check in every once in a while. 1700 days - that's awesome! It must feel like you've never even smoked before. (My homepage is offline right now; I've been too busy with other projects to keep it updated.)

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 8/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 3
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 75
Amount Saved: $11.13
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 9 Mins: 42 Seconds: 57

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 29

Baby Jack

This is really good news. I'm happy for you. Congrats!!

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 8/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 3
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 75
Amount Saved: $11.13
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 9 Mins: 43 Seconds: 10

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 29

Day Three - Thanks

Hi, Marivi. 10 miles is awesome - especially running!! My mom is exactly the same age as you and I cannot even convince her to walk around the block with me. She has a hereditary condition and I believe she thinks that it doesn't really matter that she smokes, etc., but I keep trying to tell her that it's about quality of life, not always quantity. You should be really proud of yourself. Life is so much better as a non-smoker, at any age under any condition!

Hi, Rock. About two years ago it was very easy for me to hike 20 miles. There's a trail in particular I'm thinking of. But I think smoking catches up with you and it did in my case. If I stay the course, I can really put myself to the test soon and hike the Sand Gap Trail (in combination with a few other trails) at the Natural Bridge. That would be an all-day hike and definitely cover 20 miles - that would be so nice. I wanted to do it on my 32nd birthday but the trails were closed due to ice damage and I also thought that I would have been stretching it. :-)

Hard to believe it is already Day 4. I kept having to check and make sure that was right.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 8/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 3
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 75
Amount Saved: $11.13
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 9 Mins: 44 Seconds: 55

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 29

Day Three - Thanks

Today's been the hardest thus far. I feel like I'm holding on by a thread. I can either smoke or not smoke. The choice is mine. I know if I smoke I will regret it. I think I'll just be happy when this day is over; I will probably spend most of the day tomorrow outside in the sun and fresh air.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 8/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 3
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 75
Amount Saved: $11.13
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 10 Mins: 53 Seconds: 55

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 29

Almost blew it

Hi, Breather. Posts like yours scare me a bit. In the beginning, quitting is damn tough. Today was my hardest day yet. I found myself having a long dialogue with myself about whether or not I was really able to quit right now. (I was trying to convince myself that quitting cold turkey was unwise and that I should "just have a cigarette and start over with a NRT.") I honestly don't know how close I came, but this thinking, I recognized where it was coming from. It was the junkie in me trying to give myself an excuse to smoke. Fortunately, it didn't happen. I think it really came down to the fact that I feel I've been given a second chance - one that you rarely see - where I could just put down the cigarettes and make an honest attempt at being a non-smoker. If I had picked them back up today, that would have been the end of it. So even though it has only been a few days for me, I really do understand everything you said - relapses don't just happen, they are planned. And I also believe that if I give up now then I may never try again. It is a scary thought, but it's also something you can draw strength from; at least, I know I do. I admit the idea that months, even years after quitting, those temptations can lie dormant inside of us and wield their ugly heads at the worst of times is very scary, but knowing is power, and from the way you describe it, it is not like the beginning. Anyway, sorry, I didn't mean to make this about me. I really just wanted to acknowledge I had read this and - well, found it full of wisdom. You've officially inspired me, lol.

P.S. Can someone please tell me what H.A.L.T. means? (I see the acronym, but what does it mean exactly?)

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 8/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 3
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 75
Amount Saved: $11.13
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 11 Mins: 44 Seconds: 37

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 29

Weening myself off the Lozenges

Hi, Tabby.

Have you tried substituting every-other-lozenge with something else? There are lots of great lozenges out there like Vitamin C, Echinacea, etc., that are all very healthy for you. You'll find them in the "cold and flu" area but there are lozenges that do not contain any cold medicine in them. I have been using them just to prevent myself from getting a sore throat, plus I like them; they are like candy, haha. I can understand you wanting to protect your quit at all costs; just try to slowly substitute them with something else.

Hope this helps,

-Samuel

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 8/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 3
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 75
Amount Saved: $11.13
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 11 Mins: 46 Seconds: 19

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 29

Almost blew it

Hi, Breather. Wow, such nice things you said, thanks. :-) In 4.5 hours, I will have gone a full five days without smoking. I don't know why, but every day is harder than the day that preceded it. I thought it was supposed to get easier every day - for whatever reason, it just hasn't been that way with me. But, there was a ray of hope today. I went hiking like I said I would and I ended up taking the trail "backward" (something I hadn't done since the first time I was there back in 2006) and I took another "connecting trail" that adds like two miles to the total hiking distance (something else I hadn't done since 2006) and I just had the best time ever and about 2 hours later, this thought just popped in my head - the thought was that I hadn't thought about smoking at all since I had gotten there. That right there told me I am healing. Whenever I have had a bad relationship end, I think a lot about it and then one day I will be on the trails and realize I was no longer thinking about it, so the road to recovery is before me! I think at this point I'm just going to stop wishing that tomorrow will be better and just let tomorrow be whatever tomorrow is going to be. Thanks again, Breather - stay cool. :-)

P.S. Ron, if a craving is an intense feeling to go and have a cigarette, I really have not been experiencing those. I honestly don't know how to describe what I've been feeling. It is like some part of myself made the decision that I wasn't going to smoke anymore and every part of me knows that it is true but many parts of me just haven't gotten there yet. Probably sounds strange, but that's the only way I can think to describe it.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 8/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 4
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 100
Amount Saved: $14.84
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 14 Mins: 17 Seconds: 16

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 29

non-smoking days

I keep a journal, which is much more thorough than anything I could write on here, but I wrote the following in my "Cravings Diary" just now and I thought I would share it, as just a simple reminder to everyone that any day that is smoke-free is basically a good day. :-)

This morning wasn't so great, but I managed to get through it and then I went hiking for two hours. I actually had the best time I've had there in years. I'm looking forward to going again tomorrow. It's still early in my quit, but I really believe it is getting easier. I know I'll have some bad days, but I'll definitely have more good days than bad days - and no matter what kind of day it is, they will be non-smoking days, and at the end of the day, that is all that really matters.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 8/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 4
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 100
Amount Saved: $14.84
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 14 Mins: 32 Seconds: 1

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 29

Missed a Step?

Hi, everyone.

This is my sixth day not smoking. 5d 16h!

I don't really know what to say other than I feel like somehow I missed a step in the quitting process. I can't say that I've really had any strong cravings at all this week to smoke. There hasn't been a voice inside of me that has said, "OMG! I must have a cigarette *right now*!" Five years ago when I tried to quit, that's exactly how I felt and I completely understood why it was called Hell Week because it was just the worst. I remember cravings so bad that it took every ounce of strength for me to just get myself into the shower to avoid smoking.

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining that it's been "too easy." On the contrary, it has been difficult for me, or I wouldn't still be quoting my stats to anyone who will listen! It's just been different than I had expected and I had a really hard time putting my finger on it until today. I now know what I've been feeling and why it has been so hard - I've felt like something is missing from my life. I certainly don't want to romanticize cigarettes, but let's face it, for most of us they have been there for us through both good and bad times, and every relationship we've ever had.

It started to click for me yesterday when I was out hiking, when I caught myself not thinking about cigarettes at all. That's a thought I've only ever associated with the healing process of getting over a relationship. I'm terrible at relationships; I'm single. And when they end, they usually leave me feeling pretty scarred and raw for a while, and I'll spend weeks obsessing about the situation until one day I have that thought, that "oh wow, I'm actually thinking about something else for a change!" After that, things get a little easier every day as I learn to "let go."

The thing is, I never totally get over the people that I have loved in my life. And if giving up cigarettes is anything like that, then I just might be in for some real trouble. But the more I think about it, the more I realize I also don't ever let those people get too close to me ever again. Once I'm "over it" there's just no going back, and to date, there's only been one exception to that where it has been an on/off thing for more than two years, despite my knowing better. Am I thinking too much about this? I really don't know.

Anyway, I just thought I would share some of the insights I feel I've had recently. I guess the key now is to find ways to substitute those "empty moments" that cigarettes filled up for me with something else. Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm at such peace in the woods, but I can't spend all day there, and once I leave there for the day and return to "the real world" it's just not nearly as satisfying. I'm worried I might start smoking again for no other reason than it is something familiar to me. I don't know though; at least I'm not just being impulsive, I'm rationalizing everything.

-Samuel

P.S. I started having cravings while I wrote this. Way to open my mouth, lol.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 8/23/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 5
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 110
Amount Saved: $16.32
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 16 Mins: 54 Seconds: 6

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