I am sorry to hear about this weekend. You have every right to feel frustrated and anxious. But I want you to know slips are completely common and do not determine your fate. You determine your fate. Often getting over an addiction is two steps forward, one step back. That's okay. All the learning you have is still there. This slip is just pushing you to learn a bit more. Keep going and you will get there. Do not let the guilt take over because it is unhelpful and unjustified. You will still do this. Take the time you need and when your ready get right back to it.
What do you want to take away from this experience? What would you do differently next time?
well I did it again. thought I was good. thought I was coping and maintaining well. But I wasn't. I was having a good day with my friend this weekend and we started drinking. I over indulged as usual and today I feel so sick I can barely stand it. Not sick like nautious but anxiety, guilt and depression. I feel worthless today. I was feeling so bad I had called my wife and asked her to come home from work to be with me. I felt like I was falling apart. This is the cycle. I will quit drinking for a few weeks then I will have a beer thinking that I can just have one to relax. I can maintiain this for a couple weeks just having a few drinks. But then something will happen where I will want to drink alot and then I end up where I am today. overwhelmed with guilt and anxiety. I told my wife today how sick I am. She thought that maybe I should go see a doctor. That maybe I should go to meetings if I feel this way.
I think I can do it if I focus more. I need to be aware of my issues. Make notes for myself as a reminder that I can't drink. I need help and I don't know if I can do this.
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