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the vicious cycle

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 154

Thank you for the ideas, resources and support Turquoise,

I will track down a copy of the Time magazine article and website for sure.

Have a great day,

David (a.k.a. Cryptkeeper)

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 409

I read a great article in the June 20th Time Magazine called "How Service Can Save Us". It was about returning soldiers with PTSD getting involved in various community help projects, and how it was healing them by making them feel useful and needed, as well as filling that terrible "thinking time" that can be so deadly. This article is worth reading.

You also might consider looking for (through your church or elsewhere) a volunteer position for yourself that can make a positive difference in the world. I found at least one cool resource online -- look at the "HowStuffWorks" website under 10 most fulfilling volunteers positions for retired people. This website gives resources for things like Habitat for Humanity (homeless), USO (returning military), Head Start (children), Road Scholars (travel), Meals on Wheels (seniors), Red Cross (disaster relief), Docent positions (education), Politics (activism), Legal Advocate (various needs), Humane Society (animals).

Many of these places rely on good volunteers. It can make such a positive difference in the world, and also maybe in your life. Something to think about, anyway....

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 154

Thank you Kathy for your support and sharing your similar experiences and thoughts.

Yes, may God bless us all...we most certainly need more than just pure resolve to beat this demon.

Have a great day everyone.

David

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 154

Thank you Rob, your advice and support are much appreciated. I know I must keep busy, which is a bit of a dilemma when we live in times that call for less "doing" and more "being" or "becoming." I'm speaking here of the spiritual plane, not just the material or mental realms. Although I would not consider myself a religious person, I do revere a higher power, which I often refer to as our heavenly Father or Father of our spirits. I will take your suggestion to become more involved in my faith with others; I've spent enough time wandering alone in the desert wilderness...too much temptation out here (mentally that is).

Have a great day Rob,

David

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 252

David,

What you describe, I call it the "crumbeling of the resolve", I believe foxman may have referred to it as the "obsessing of the mind" (the point where it is not a particular trigger that is tempting you to drink, you simply continuously obsess about it in your mind).

This is a difficult one to beat and I have only had mixed success here in the past.

Unfortunately this is I think a natural process and will pass, but it can take a while.

If you are a religious person calling into a church or equivalent for a few minutes to "touch base" may just help to get you over the hump.

You might consider a long term plan for keeping busier. There is plenty of good work to be done out in the world.

Thanks,

Rob

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 33

Cryptkeeper,

I wish I had more answers for you, but still have many of my own! I have tried and been semi successful with taking walks in the evening, and also reconnecting to things I used to enjoy (although they were never alcohol free) , but its a start. For me woodworking as I used to build birdhouses and even built a blanket chest. Also (sort of a female thing mostly) but scrapbooking, but maybe you like to take pictures of things like nature, or go to museums, or still life...?

Also, I HAVE to comment on your "hard" hours as they are mine too! After I get off of work and have some free time, despite all the productive things I could be doing, it is hard to not drink and "chill out". I realized that although I think I am bored, there are many things I could be doing to be productive; read a boo or magazine article, Exercise, play a game (like solitare) do laundry, dishes, vacuum, dust, grocery shopping, taking a relaxing walk, bike riding, car ride with relaxing music, DO NOTHING FOR A CHANGE! MEditate, stretch, and despite all--Go TO Bed Early! I feel Amazing when I am in bed by 9 or 10 even if I don't fall asleep right away. Good luck to us all!

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 154

Hi Viking, Rob, Kathy and Ashley,

In a previous post I mentioned the 5 top reasons for my drinking. One of them was being able to relax and become comfortably numb and another was due to restless and boredom. I'm finding lately that the latter of these two is really bogging me down. Trying to fill the voids of time when you are not drinking is especially difficult for me as I have obsessive ruminating habits So, you can pretty much figure out that when I am ruminating because I am restless/bored, I tend to think more and more about having/not having that first drink. In silent times, the majority of time I simply give in instead of doing something else like going for a nice long walk.

Problem is there are 24 hours in a day, 7-8 of which I sleep. Since I am retired I can putter around the house or outside to do some chores or read e-mails or a book for a few hours. I might also visit someone for a couple of hours as a way of passing time. So, if I do a bit of math, and count eating meals, I can fill maybe 15 of 24 hours. It's the other 9 hours with which I have extreme difficulty. Those hours are normally between the hours of 2-3 p.m. to 10-11 p.m. It's almost as if I try to get through that part of the day so that I can get to the next morning.

Does anyone have any views on the foregoing or, better still, some advice on what I might do to fill in time when I am not busy or when I excessively think about drinking? The anxiety, guilt and depression you mention Viking after drinking in excess is a double problem for me as I also take medication for anxiety and depression, which is a no-no.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 252

Viking,

this is a tough time for you. The guilt and feeling overwhelemed is hard going. I find it is like a dam bursting for me, it all pours out and I get completly swamped. However for me there is a mechanism in play here, given a few days the feelings recede a little and the time comes to go again and sometimes it can take more than one go to get back on the wagon, just dont give up trying and when the time is right try and figure out what you need to do to build stronger.

All the best,

Rob

Kathy,

I have noticed a number of cycles in my drinking and resisting drinking. I think they are important to identify and figure out. I suspect they may control my drinking and my resisting of drinking in a very definite way. Tackeling these deep down patterns of behaviour I think may help tip the balanc in what I am trying to achieve.

Rob

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 33

Talk about VICIOUS CYCLE, I just reviewed My Diary Daily Log chart and I notice a terrible cycle! It is eye opening sorta.....Every 2nd or 3rd day, I consume only 1-4 drinks, on the other days, I WAY over do it! Not sure why, but maybe others have noticed this cycle too. I am considering printing the chart to bring with me to my appt Wednesday

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 33

Stay strong Viking! You have not failed- Every day you want to better yourself is an improvement. I had to finally admit I can not do it by myself and contacted my doctor for help. I am going Wednesday to see what to do next. I think you have done amazingly on being able to be strong for weeks at a time!! Great job! (I have not been able to pass 2 1/2 days)

Which ever direction you go, I think admitting to yourself its a problem, you are in the right direction. I strongly think you may consider contacting your doctor that handles behavioral & mental health. I am learning there are reasons we drink like we do and addressing the initial problem that we may be trying to avoid by numbing ourselves can help tremendously! Good luck in your journey :)

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the vicious cycle