Welcome to AHC. Unfortunately some of us (after long arduous experiment) have concluded we cannot moderate liquor. The best is to stay stopped. But I am alcoholic and my mind would trick me back into taking a beer over and over again. Until, I went to AA and started working the 12 steps. Then I was able to understand that the internal un-manageability would lead me back to that first drink and thats what I had to work on. So, today, if I am in a bad spot, I immediately recognize it and start working it. Hope you stick around and ask questions. There are other folks with different experiences. So you get to hear different perspective.