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Best and worst day of my life

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 557

I guess you're right JbBlue, it is already hard to control our consumption and then that extra pressure of not knowing if an important part of our live will vanished and we have to start new again...

Thanks for your support. I really appreciate knowing you are there

Have a nice day

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 37

I really hope you can work everything out with your relationships. There’s never been any threat in mine but I couldn’t imagine what it would be like without my husband. I know it’s hard at times because they don’t understand how difficult it really is. That’s why we are more effective in helping each other because we can relate and know how it feels to constantly be battling this problem.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 557

Hi Keesu,

what a coincidence that I am going through a relationship struggle also right now. I think about you and hope you can still work on resolving it.

Let us know how you're doing, good or bad. Keep faith!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 37

Hey Keesu,

Just wondering how you're doing. I've been thinking about you! Drop a line when you have some time. Take care.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 557

I feel so sad for you since it almost happen to me this last time and i went through this before.

The thing is that we have to do it for ourselves first and then it make it easier. We cannot promise anyone we love we are going to quit just because we love them. Everytime we promise we'll do it and we don't, they just lose confidence that we can succeed, for them it becomes some déjà-vu, yeah-yeah you said that before.

As JbBlue said, what have you got to lose if you go seek some outside help? Maybe it will help you. Don't give up Keesu! If you try enough time, one of them will be the good one.

I remember reading once a quote from the owner of BIOVAIL, the pharmaceutical company. He was saying ''If you knock on enough door, chance will come to you''.

I think the same applies to us who are trying to beat an addiction.

Your husband has not giving up on you yet... don't give up on yourself

Hugs XX

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 557

Thanks Josie,

I should keep my visit short even if it is an hour drive to get there. I'll try it and it is true I cannot deprive my daughters of seeing their gransparents.

I should remember that if I don't succeed and become a desagreable old drunk,lol, I would certainly like to see my grandchildren, if I ever have some.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

""It's frightening, yet appreciated to know the facts."""

Yes, hopeless it may sound, but yet there is hope. That is the beauty of situation. It wakes up our inner self and then we look for solution.

Dr. Silkworth says the following:

On the other hand-and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand-once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules.

===================================================================================

There is some history around this doctor. He had worked with lots of drunks and finally saw Bill W recover and then ended up helping others and saw the fellowship grow. That was back in 1935.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 37

Hi Hors,

In response to what you wrote earlier:

I think I can relate in a similar way to your kids. My Grandparents lived out of town so I only saw them 2-3 times a year. I loved them so dearly I’d visit as often as I could. My family that lived near them seldom went to visit because they felt it was a pain just like you. Near the end of their time my Aunt was the only one who would visit. She’d bring food and try to clean the place up as best she could for them...and it wasn't’t even her parents. As a grandchild I felt so much love and so many good childhood memories it allowed me not to judge the situation. Instead I wanted to help them as best I could while I was there. What eventually began happening as they needed more care (couldn't’t afford to go into a retirement home) was close family would visit more frequently but during the day for shorter periods of time. From what I heard everyone got along, the received the care and attention they needed and weren't’t completely intoxicated in the afternoon. Maybe give that a try? Let me know what you think.

My Grandmother died at 76, she had liver disease, blood cancer and Alzheimer’s disease. Her doctor said she would have lived much longer if it wasn’t for years of alcohol abuse. I flew out and was by her side during her last hours. My Grandfather died 6 months later from a bleeding ulcer that had erupted killing him within 2 minutes. His ulcer medication wasn’t supposed to be mixed with Alcohol but he did it anyway. He was 74. I never got to say goodbye. I guess what I’m trying to say is maybe your kids enjoy the same stories (I did) and want to get as much time in as possible while they can. This is another means of motivation to me to quit. I lost 2 grandparents early due to alcohol. They’re lucky they made it that far. I don’t want to end up like that either, my mom is on the same path.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 37

Thanks everyone again for your kind words. It really means a lot to me. This note is for Keesu, I truly understand everything you’re feeling right now and I’d like to make an effort to help based on my ongoing experience.

I really had to buckle down and approach myself with tough love. I always seemed to juggle my career and home life as 2 separate people. Work me and home me. I couldn’t imagine a divorce it would really destroy me. Here’s the thing, I know EXACTLY how scary it is to ask for help. Just because I’ve made these appointments doesn’t mean I got over the fear of the information I will find out about myself. To tell the truth I’m petrified of what the outcome might be. But, what I keep telling myself is if I do nothing it will only get dramatically worse. It’s the truth. If your husband is still there then that shows he still cares very much. You don’t want to lose that. So is it better to remain scared and lose your husband or take one small step to help begin recovery? These are the kind of questions I ask myself every day.

I strongly encourage you to try and take one small step forward. Even if it’s talking to a counsellor like your husband is suggesting. Ask yourself, what’s the worst that can happen? Fear and shame is around us all anyway everyday as alcoholics right? I’ve been in denial and have refused to see a doctor for the last year due to fear. But what’s the worst that can happen to me? Nothing more than not doing anything at all. Denial and Alcohol kills and we’re at risk of losing family and friends along the way. It’s so hard for me to open my eyes and see reality but I’m going to try and make it. I hope we can all do this together. But we must take the first step no matter how scary it is. I believe you can do it KEESU!!!!! Believe in YOURSELF! *Big hugs*

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 35

Thank u for the support, Foxman. Very nice to see first thing in the morning, a special gift. I've opened my mind enough to begin reading the big book online, and just ordered a hard copy because I want to print and highlight things and take notes. I did read the doctor's opinion, I learn something new every day. It's frightening, yet appreciated to know the facts.

-Keesu

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Best and worst day of my life