Eya, you are doing just great. Please do not listen to whoever it is telling you to smoke, whether they be real or imaginary
I want to talk a little about your all over the place anxiety, okay? During my early days of not smoking I was very interested in the effects of lack of nicotine on the neurotransmitter action in my brain. Oh, I guess I cared about it in other people's brains, but at that point I was pretty self-focused. I really really didn't want to go to all that trouble just to feel like very very bad crap - depressed, anxious, etc. I was taking chantix and it was truly a miracle drug for me. I was actually not smoking. First time in 35 years. No matter what I'd tried before - gum, patch, welbutrin, I still smoked. The only few days I'd been able to string together was 25 years previously, and that was because I was up on the volcano...lol
But, I digress...I was really worried that once I was off the chantix AND the nicotine, that I would fall into a deep depression (having had many years of a slight, and then at times, very uncomfortable depression and lots of anxiety over just about everything). I didn't worry as much about the anxiety, although depression and anxiety are so closely related in terms of neurotransmitter stuff, and believe me, I can worry with the best of them. But, what I found was, once I was off the chantix (which works by substituting for nicotine in the neurotransmitter scheme of things), and of course, nicotine, I was no longer depressed or anxious! I mean markedly so. Since being through with all of it, I have been the calmest and happiest I've ever been. Sure, there have been times when I've been sad about things that are happening, or have worried about how things are going to turn out for my loved ones, but I really believe that my neurotransmitters are working the way they are supposed to. I also believe that I was medicating myself with nicotine all those years.
Your experience may not be the same as mine, but I can't help but wonder if all this free-ranging anxiety is in part due to your neurotransmitters responding to the lack of nicotine before they come back into a more balanced state without the effect of nicotine. I admire your cold turkey approach, and can't help but reflect on the much easier time I feel I had because the chantix substituted for the nicotine initially. I truly believe that if you keep sticking it out, this anxiety will subside and you (and your neurotransmitters) will feel so much better. It might take a little while longer, but it will happen. I wish I knew how long it takes to get things in our brains working right again, but from what I've seen it is the very rare person who doesn't feel so so much better emotionally after the first few months. That you have such a
outlook suggests to me that you will be one of the majority.
Keep up the great quit you've got going, do nice things for yourself, get some exercise, and hopefully you'll be feeling worry free very soon.
-aloha
Not that you'd ever want to go back through those early days for sure. Isn't it amazing to be free of the NEED all the time? How are you and hubby managing the sugar shack without cigs? Did I see somewhere that he is quitting too, or is that just wishful thinking on my part? Anyway, wanted to stop by and give ya a big Way to go, Girl!!! Keep remembering NOPE and one of these days you won't even think about smoking anymore. Promise.
The lovely thing about hair is it will grow YAY!
